Bouncing Back
by ElliotNOliviaSVULover
Summary: What will it take for Elliot and Olivia to bounce back from something this huge?
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this obviously (as your read you'll know) takes place after 'Blinded'. I'm taking a bit of creative liberty obviously as we haven't seen the episode yet and I don't own them.

This is for Sam for challenging me to write something because she needed something to read. LOL And for giving me a title.

**DISCLAIMER : **If they were mine do you think my fanfic would be off base for what happens on the show?

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**Elliot's POV**

They say when you lose one sense the other four become more heightened. What I want to know is who the fuck "they" are. I'd like to meet the people who believe that and tell them I prove them wrong.

Sitting here in this hospital bed I sure a hell don't hear any better. That pile of mush the nurse brought me claiming it was lunch? It sure didn't taste or smell any different or stronger. Come on. Glue is glue, and that's what it reminded me of.

All that is heightened is the feeling of being alone and in the dark. It's been two days since anyone's stopped by to visit. Apparently work and life got too busy. And my wife? She hasn't even been by since then. So much for "in sickness and in health." I've always suspected it was all a joke.

If it weren't for the nurses coming in to remind me what time of day it was I wouldn't know night from day. At least they haven't stopped coming by. Not like they have a choice in the matter though. They do seem to come fewer and farther between though.

Speaking on, one of them, Nancy according to what she just said, just cam in to make sure I'm okay.

"Nancy, can you hand me the phone?" I ask her, hoping she's close enough to hear me. She sure sounded it.

"Sure Mr. Stabler." She hands it to me then she takes my right hand in hers placing it on the keypad.

"Feel that little bump?" She waits for my nod. "That's the 5 button. Think you can find the rest?"

I'm half tempted to just dial 911 and ask to be transferred, but that would be the easy way out. Elliot Stabler does **not** take to easy way out. I try to think deep in my mind about what a telephone keypad looks like. Dammit! Why don't I every pay attention when I'm calling people?

Let's see, the first part should be easy. 555, okay that's easy enough. Zero is two numbers under five, okay now where is three? Oh yeah, it's diagonally to the upper right from the five.

"_We're sorry your call cannot be completed as dialed."_

"Fuck!" I took too long dialing didn't I.

Okay, I'll hang up and try again. I pick up the phone and dial 555-03...eight is below the five, just one more number to go. One, well at least I hope that was the one. Whoever I just called the phone is ringing.

"_Lake, SVU"_

Well it worked. Sort of. I did get the right unit. I could've swore I dialed Liv's desk but okay.

"Chester, it's Elliot. Is Liv there?"

Hmmm…maybe my hearing is better, I definitely can tell he's talking to someone with his hand over the receiver.

"_Elliot?"_

What? Does he think I morphed into someone else in the last 45 seconds.

"Yeah, so is she?"

"_She umm…why don't you talk to Fin." _He hands the phone over.

"_Elliot, hey man!" _I hear Fin say.

"Hey. Is Liv there?"

This is getting pathetic. He'd better not pass me off to Munch next.

"_Yeah, she is actually. Can I help you with something?"_

I've fallen into Duh-Land I swear. I wonder if Nancy is sitting there spying on this mess. I never did hear her leave.

"Yes Fin. You can put her on the phone. Please?!" I hate begging but really now I had to pull that stop out.

We're back to the talking with the phone covered. Only Fin? Yeah, not so good at it. I can hear just about every word out of their mouths now. Apparently Liv doesn't want to talk to me and everyone knows it. I know I've been distant these last few months with this pregnancy crap going on but I didn't realize it was this bad. Now he's telling her I sound lost and was begging. Oh boy!

Wait, what's that? The phone is being jumbled around and suddenly there it is. Her breathing. I'd recognize that sound anywhere. Hell I've spent many nights wondering what it'd sound like in bed next to me.

"Liv?"

Nothing.

"Livvie, I know you're there." I'd just recently started calling her Livvie. Liv was becoming too popular around the squad room and I was craving something that was uniquely mine about her.

"_El." _She whispers, and I barely hear it. Nope, no heightened sense of hearing for me.

"Livvie, please come see me."

"_I--I--I can't." _Oh God. She's sobbing now. I have to either end this or change the subject quick. She'll kill me if I make her cry in front of the guys.

"Well hey, I should go. Shower time according to Nancy." Yep, a blatant lie. "Think about it though. Okay?"

"_Okay. Bye."_

Before I can even say goodbye she's hung up. No doubt either off to the cribs or the rooftop. I know her. She needs a second to bounce back. "Tough As Nails Benson"? Even she has her weak moments.

Well, that didn't go well. I wish I knew why she can't come see me. From the sound of things the guys won't help me find out either. At least not Fin.

Do you know what the worst part of this is? It's boring as hell. I can't watch TV only hear it and there's only so many shows a person can listen to. At least when that person's me.

Just as I'm finally going to get some sleep I hear the door open again.

"Hello?" I really wish I could see who just walked in. I hate being this vulnerable.

"It's Nancy again Mr. Stabler. Dinner time." I hear what sounds like her putting a plate in front of me on the tray table.

"What's the mush supposed to be tonight?" I ask her. Seriously, the smell is just not giving any clues here.

"Chicken pot pie."

Oh goodie. One of my least favorite foods. I really need to get out of here.

"Nancy, can you just put the tray off to the side? I think I'm just going to go to sleep." I can hear her moving and assume she's doing what I asked.

"Mr. Stabler, I'm going to go now. You know where the call button is if you need me."

She's walking away. That sound I know all too well. I really wish I had my cell phone right now. I don't know her cell number without it. Can you believe it? I guess I'll just go to sleep. After all, I did tell Nancy I was. Not too mention I really have nothing else to do.

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"Elliot, it's breakfast time." Someone is shaking me and supposedly it's morning again. Oh what the hell is the morning nurse's name?

"Stacy?"

"Yes?" Oh good, that was it.

"It's morning already?" I can't believe I've been sleeping since dinner time last night.

"Yes sir. 8:30am to be precise. I've got your breakfast. Eggs and bacon."

"Thanks." My stomach's growling so loud I swear the person in the room next door can hear it. I suppose I'd better eat.

There it is again, the sound of someone walking away. I should've asked her to hand me the phone. Oh well. Fumbling around on the tray I find my fork and stab at the eggs on my plate. Not horribly bad.

The door's opening again. Maybe I can get Stacy to bring me the phone now. I've got to get someone to come see me today.

"Stacy, when you take my plate can you bring the phone over to me?"

I hear her walking closer but then the footsteps stop. I wish I knew how far away she was, but I still can't judge distance well.

"Stacy?" One, two, three. Still nothing. Okay now I'm getting a little nervous. They need to teach this at the academy. Sitting in a dark room with your perps. Maybe then I wouldn't be freaking out.

"Please, whoever's there just say something." I hear the person sniffle. No way. No fucking way. If it were really her she'd say something. Wouldn't she?

"Liv? Is that you? Please, Baby come over here by me." The next thing I hear is her turn and run, the door slamming shut behind her.

Fuck. Only then do I realize that I called her Baby. I can't believe I did that. How stupid can one person be? I need to make this better. Why the hell hasn't my wife come to visit? Totally random thought there. Pushing the call button I need to get Stacy back in here so I can get the phone and call her.

Alright, I've got the phone now and I think I can dial just fine now. 555-0381. It's ringing.

"_Tutuola."_

Okay, let's see. I need to get Liv's cell and I'm sure Fin won't cooperate. Munch!

"Hey Fin, it's Elliot. Is Munch around?" I hear him hand the phone over a minute later.

"_Elliot?"_

I need a favor. Liv was just here and I fucked up. Can you please give me her cell number?" Please, please, please let this work.

"_You don't know it?"_

"It's in memory on my cell, I don't know it by memory." Come on John, just give me the damn number.

"_Alright, let's see. It's 555-7152." _YES!!

"Thanks John!" Perfect, now I can call her. I wonder why I even bothered to write the phone number down. It's not like I can read it.

Okay, here we go with this phone thing again. 555...seven is diagonally to the bottom left. Okay, 152.

It starts ringing, hopefully I really called her number.

"_You've reached Olivia Benson. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now. If this is an emergency try 555-0381 to reach my desk at work." _Then the beep. I need to leave a message.

"Livvie, look I'm sorry for what I said earlier. Please just come see me again. I won't lie to you. No one's been here in three days now. No one. Well, I'll go now."

I hope this works. I need my partner back. My best friend back.

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Alrighty, there you have it. A bit shorter than I'd hoped but I'm satisfied with it for now. Next chapter will be Olivia's POV and hopefully we'll get some answers as to why she just can't go see Elliot.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so I'm thinking I need to put Cruisin' in the back seat for a little bit. I want to get this story finished up before Tuesday nights episode airs so I don't let anyone down after the real thing happens. Bear with me, I will be updating that one soon and it will be finished prior to December 1st.

A big THANKS to everyone reading & reviewing!!! You make my day!!

**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing. No wait, that's a lie, I do have all the SVU DVDs out so far plus my pre-order on Season 4. But that's it.

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**Olivia's POV**

Doesn't he have a wife? The 'new message' signal on my cell phone just beeped for about the tenth time. Today. It's noon by the way. It's been four days since I last actually talked to him. That makes for roughly 90 new messages in my voicemail, 90. I didn't think you could possibly have that many. Apparently you can.

I'm almost certain they all say the same thing. "Livvie, Baby, please come see me." When did that start? Baby? I know he told me just that morning, six days ago now, the day it happened, that he was going to start calling me Livvie. Claimed he needed a name to call me that no one else did. Why? I don't know. It's not like he even acknowledges my presence anymore. Not since I came back from my suspension. So this Baby thing is blowing my mind.

God Dammit!! There's the phone ringing again. Oh wait, that's Casey's ring tone. I can answer this one.

"Benson."

"_Why haven't you gone back yet?"_

"Hello to you too." I'm not in the mood for this today.

"_Hello. He called me this morning." _Well isn't he becoming an expert with that phone.

"I'm sorry."

"_Are you?" _She snaps at me.

"I am Case. I'm sorry he's bothering you not too." If I could talk to him I'd tell him to stop.

"_I was there earlier, just got back." _She whispers, almost like she's afraid to tell me.

"Oh."

"_He said no one's been to see him since that first day. Now what I'm wondering is why it is that you haven't been there."_

I don't think I can do this. I really don't think I can tell her why. Not yet. Not when I can't admit to myself why.

"I went." There, I said it. Maybe she didn't hear me.

"_WHAT!?! WHEN!?!"_ She heard.

"Case, do we have to do this now"

"_Yes. Take lunch and meet me. You're going to tell me."_

I can't do this. "Fine." I will though.

"_My office, now." _She hangs up on me then.

I get up from my desk to go in and ask Don if I can take lunch. Silently I'm hoping he'll say no.

"Don?"

"Yeah Liv?"

"Ummm….Casey wants me to meet her for lunch."

"Go."

"I can stay if you need me." Please, please say you do.

"I've got three other detectives plus myself. Go, spend time with your friends."

Don't think I didn't miss that. Friends. Walking out of the office to head to Casey's office I can't stop thinking about it. That day, the one when all this changed between us. I had been so good at hiding my feelings. Until then. If he comes back to work I'm going to have to ask Don for a transfer.

I barely get inside the building and there's Casey waiting for me. This was a bad idea, but if there's anything I've learned in the last few years it's not to mess with Casey Novak.

"Took you long enough. Let's go!" Well isn't she Miss Mary Sunshine.

We walk down the street to this little Chinese restaurant. Everything was quiet until we'd hit the buffet and were sitting down to eat.

"When did you go see him?"

"Do we have to talk about this?" I ask her again, hoping like hell she says no.

"Yes. Liv, it'll make you feel better."

"I feel fine." I smirk at her.

"Okay, but I still want to know."

I take a huge breath in and let it out as slowly as I can. She's not going to let up about this. I'm really going to have to talk about it.

"Three days ago. He had called me the day before, practically begging me to come see him. He said no one had been to see him in three days."

"So if you went to see him why did he tell me I was the first person who'd come since the first day?" I'd be confused too if I were her.

"I walked in and panicked. Got maybe five feet in the door at most before I froze. He umm…he knew I was there." Just great, I'm getting weepy now. Buck up Benson! You're not a wuss!

"That doesn't explain why you didn't stay." How'd she know?

"Who said I didn't stay?"

"Elliot would've said you were there if you'd stayed. Hell, he'd be shouting it from the rooftops."

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay. He called me Baby, Casey." To hell with it, I might as well let it all out now.

"Really?"

"He heard me walk in, but he didn't realize it was me at first. Seeing him there got to me. I started crying and he heard me sniffle. I've never outright cried in front of him yet he knew it was me. He called out to me to stay. That's when he called me Baby and I ran. " You know what? I actually do feel better having talked about this. Damn Casey!

Just then my phone starts ringing. My generic ring tone, so I know it's not the station or one of the guys' cell phones. Soon enough it's hitting voicemail and message number eleven for the day is there. Casey grabs my phone off the table. Damn she's quick, I almost grabbed it before she did.

91 messages Liv?! Boy I'm glad I don't get your voicemail, I might never hear from you again."

I try to reach across the table and grab it out of her hand but she's now checking my missed calls. She scrolls down and after informing me that they're all the same number she rings it back. I wonder if you get a switch board or a direct line to his room. Either way she'll find out.

He must have answered judging by the look on her face.

"Elliot?" I hear her say, then I can tell she's listening.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was on my received calls list." Good save there Case. "Yeah, I'll try and stop by tomorrow again. Bye." She hangs up and glares at me.

"All 91 messages are from him." She tell me, not questioning. She knows.

"Yes." I'm blushing now. I hate this. I hate being so girlie around people.

"Walk me back to the office. You need to tell me while you have 91 messages from Elliot."

We get up from the table and head out the door having paid when we came in.

"I can't talk to him. I don't have a clue what to say anymore." I pause, long enough for her to speak.

"You don't know what to say? You've been partners for almost a decade."

"Ever since I came back from my suspension he's barely acknowledged my existence. Half the time I feel like I ought to be at the crime scenes alone. Then this happened. First I felt useless. Then like it was my fault. I can't face him feeling that way." There, I finally admitted it. Now she knows why I can't see him. Well partly.

"You need to go see him Olivia. No one has been there since that first day until I went today." She's giving me puppy dog eyes now.

"I'm not stopping anyone from going." That's true.

"You may not directly be stopping them but their fear for facing your wrath is stopping them. They may not know why you won't talk to him but everyone knows you won't. No one's willing to piss off Hard Ass Benson by going to the hospital."

"Except you." I chuckle, the closest to a laugh I've gotten in days.

"Yeah, except me. You don't scare me Liv. You forget, I know your weaknesses."

We get back to her office and she says the one thing that has me re-thinking things.

"Please Olivia. Go see him. I don't know how much longer he can do this alone."

I don't know what else to say so I just turn and leave. Grabbing my phone off my belt I dial the station and Don's desk.

"_Cragen."_

"Don, it's Liv--"

Before I can say anything else he's cutting me off.

"_Take the rest of the day. Go." _Is he psychic?

"Wh--?"

"_Bye Liv." _He hangs up.

I walk back to the station to get my SUV so I can head over to Mercy General. I really don't know how I'm going to do this. But I have to. I can't lose my partner. My best friend.

25 minutes later I'm standing outside his room trying to gain the courage to go in. Taking a deep breath I opened the door and started to walk in.

"Who's there?" He calls out from the other side of the room.

I almost can't do it. Almost. I have to say something.

"El." I whisper and I continue walking closer.

"Livvie, Baby, you came back!" I can hear the tears in his voice now.

"Yeah El, I did." By now I'm standing next to his bed.

"God I've missed you." He says, reaching his hand out to me. I know he needs to feel me here to truly believe it so I take his hand in mine.

"I've missed you too. Lake just doesn't get my jokes the way you do." Not that Elliot and I have been joking around lately.

"Olivia, I am so sorry."

"For what?" Really I have no clue.

"The past few months. Being here, in the dark, for 24 hours a day, alone for almost a week, it's given me time to think. I have been horrible to you ever since you came back. I know that. I've just been so caught up in this pregnancy shit."

I'm basically shooting myself in the foot asking, but I do. "How is Kathy doing?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't know." Huh?!

"What do you mean?" Why doesn't he know?

"Livvie, when I said no one's visited I meant just that. No one. Not you or the guys, hell not even Don. No one. Not my kids, and sure as fuck not Kathy."

I'm speechless. Can you believe it? Speechless. The bitch! He squeezes my hand tighter. How the fuck does he do that? Even when he can't see me he still knows when I have something on my mind.

"Talk to me. I know something's on your mind."

"I'm sorry Elliot. This is all my fault. I'm your partner and it's all my fault. Your wife won't even come see you. It it weren't for me she wouldn't be visiting. You'd be home with her." God, now I'm crying.

In a way it's good he can't see me now. He can't see me falling apart.

"El, I really should get back to work." I hate that I'm lying to him.

"Promise me you'll come back." He's begging me now, and I can't promise him.

"El…"

"No, please, Baby, please come see me again. You're all I've got Livvie."

"I'll try." There, that's not lying or promising what I can't deliver.

"Okay. Tell the guys I say hi. Bye." He tells me, apparently being somewhat satisfied with that.

I get up to leave. "Bye Elliot." I tell him and start to walk off. About five feet from the door I stop and turn back looking towards him. A tear falling from my eye. It kills me inside to see him this way.


	3. Chapter 3

BIG ole thanks to everyone reading & reviewing!!

**DISCLAIMER:** Still not mine

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**Elliot's POV**

From the looks for things around here the last few days Olivia told the guys she saw me. All of a sudden Don, Fin, John, and even Chester have been to see me everyday. It's like they needed her permission.

She hasn't been here though in two days. The silver lining, she is answering my calls now at least. So I have talked to her every day.

Neither Kathy nor the kids have been by to see me. I've been here ten days now. Ten fucking days and my wife hasn't been to see me. I need to call and find out why. Every time I try though I get the answering machine. I'm tired of hearing that I've reached the Stablers and we're not home. Of course _we_ aren't, I'm here.

The door to my room opens and I hear someone walk in. It's her. I can just tell, no sounds needed. That is the one sense that has heightened in the last ten days. I've gotten even better at being able to tell when she walks in the room.

"Liv?" I always check to make sure it's her.

"Hey El! I brought some lunch today. I know how you're starting to hate the food here."

"Starting?" I laugh.

"Okay, not starting. You just hate it."

"So what's on the menu today?" I ask as my stomach growls lightly, it is late for lunch you know.

"Turkey sandwich from the 8th Street Deli." Yummy, that means she's got roast beef.

"Sounds good." I hear her bring them over, pull the tray table over and put the sandwiches down, climbing up to sit next to me in bed.

"Liv?" What is she doing?

"Your sandwich is on your right, mine's on your left." Okay, we're going to pretend this isn't happening I guess.

I grab half my sandwich and eat that then reach to my left and pick up the half a roast beef sandwich that's sitting there. Within moments I feel Olivia reach across me grabbing the rest of my turkey sandwich. Even after months of distance between us we're still in sync on some things.

Just as I've almost finished what became my sandwich the door opens again. I turn my head trying to see who it is. That's habit. Of course I can't see, but now I'm face to face with Olivia. I know because I feel her breathing. Then it's gone. She's jumping up off the bed like it's on fire.

"Sorry." I hear her apologizing to whomever just came in.

"Elliot, it's Dr. Murray. I've come to bring you some good news." Finally, good news.

"What's that?"

"We've very impressed with how you're doing with your therapies and have decided to send you home tomorrow."

So it's good news and bad news. While I want to get out of here I don't really want to go home. Sure I want the kids around, but I just have this feeling that Olivia's going to stop visiting again if I go home. She hasn't said it, but I know she's uncomfortable around Kathy these last few months.

"That's great El!" She tells me, sounding a bit hesitant about being happy herself.

"Well, I'll leave you to your visitor, I just wanted to give you the good news." Dr. Murray says, then I hear him turn to leave.

"Well, I should probably get back to the house. Don will be looking for me." What a lie that is. She leans over the bed and kisses me gently on the lips.

Before I have time to react though she's run out the door. I'm left sitting there more confused than ever. With nothing else to distract me I reach for the phone and start dialing my home number. Someone answers this time though.

"_Hello?' _It's Kathy, perfect.

"Hey Kath. Guess what? Dr. Murray says they're releasing me tomorrow. Isn't that great?" No, not really, but I'm sure not telling her that it's not great.

"_Oh. Yeah, real great El." _She says nervously.

"So, umm…I know you and the kids haven't been down to see me lately. I was thinking maybe tonight--"

"_No El." _She cuts me off. _"We can't come."_

"Why not?" She's silent. Too silent. "Tell me Kathy." I demand.

"_Elliot, I can't do this. I can't deal with you not being able to see our kids ever again. Not being able to see me ever again."_

What a selfish bitch! I know I shouldn't think of my wife that way. After what she just said though, I can't help it.

"What are you saying Kath?" I honestly think I know the answer to that. I need to hear it though.

"_I mean we can't stay together Elliot." _Yep, that was it.

"What am I supposed to do Kathy?! I'm leaving here tomorrow morning." Great, I'm homeless now.

"_I don't know. What about your mom's or one of your brothers' houses?"_

"I guess. What about the baby? Huh?" She thinks she's taking that from me too, I know it.

"_She and I will be fine." _Did she just say that? Fuck! She had the amnio done and got the results without me.

"I will **not** give up my kids. Any of them." I vow, knowing I'm going to have to somehow get a hold of my cell phone and get someone to help me dial the girls' cell phone numbers with it. I need my kids.

"_Elliot, I've got to go. I'll submit the papers we had drawn up before. My lawyer will make the necessary adjustments and get them to yours to be signed off on. Goodbye Elliot." _She hangs up.

I don't know whether to be pissed because of her attitude and the reason she's doing this. Or to be upset that I've lost her again. Pissed wins out though as I shove the tray table and phone away from me. It's right about now that I wish I was at the station, down in the gym, beating the shit out of one of the punching bags.

That's it! I grab the call button and about 45 seconds later one of the nurses, Mary, is walking in.

"Mr. Stabler, what can I do for you?" She asks.

"Do you guys have a gym here?" God I hope so. I need to punch something.

"We do. Normally it's just for the staff. I'll go check with Dr. Murray though." She walks out to go ask my doctor for his permission.

10 minutes later I'm in a wheel chair that this orderly named Jesse is pushing on my way to the gym. We get down there and he helps me out of the chair, grabs me some gloves, and walks me over to the punching bag.

"I'm sure you've got it from here, right Mr. Stabler?"

"Yep. Now this is something I could never have trouble doing in the dark."

"I'm going to head upstairs then. I'll be back in an hour if that's cool with you?"

"Sounds good. Thanks Jesse!" I hear him leave.

It's been about 11 days since I was in the gym so I start off slow with a few light jabs to the bag. After about two minutes of that I've started punching harder and faster, taking out all my stress.

An hour later I've worked up quite the sweat as Jesse comes back to walk me up to my room. I need a shower. Thankfully I've progressed to going into the shower alone. For a while there I felt like one of the inmates on that one prison show Olivia watches.

After my shower I get dressed and get back into my bed. If my calculations are correct it should be close to dinner time which means Nancy will be in. Not that I'm hungry though, I did just have lunch not that long ago. Before she comes though there's a knock at the door. Only one person knocks before they come in. Casey. She walks over towards me, her heels clacking on the floor with every step.

"Early night or late lunch there Counselor?" I ask as she gets closer.

"Early night. How are you today?"

Hmm…how am I? "Good, mostly."

"Explain." She's become the only one besides Liv who I'll discuss stuff with.

"I'm getting out of here in the morning." I tell her smiling.

"That's great Elliot! Now what's the bad?" It's funny that she knows me this well too.

"Kathy's going through with the divorce. She said she can't deal with me not being able to see her or the kids."

"What a bitch! Sorry, had to say that. Doesn't she know that Dr. Murray thinks this'll only be temporary?"

"Don't worry about calling her that. I don't know how much she knows. I called her the other day to tell her about the surgery, but of course I only got the answering machine."

"Wow!" I can tell she doesn't know what to say. I probably wouldn't either if I were her.

What is it with people interrupting me today? The door just opened again.

"Dinner time!" Nancy calls to me. I swear I did just eat lunch.

"Hey Elliot, I'm going to head out so you can eat. Call me tomorrow?"

"Sure Casey." She says goodbye and leaves then.

"So there's this rumor going around that my favorite patient is going home tomorrow." Nancy says as she sets down my plate.

Home. I don't have a home anymore. I never should have let the lease run out on my apartment. If I hadn't I'd have a place to go. I wonder if they'll even let me go home alone. If I had somewhere to go that is.

"Nancy, can I ask you something?" I hear her sit down in the chair by my bed then.

"Anything Sugar."

"If someone say wanted to take a taxi home would they be allowed to?" I'm losing my touch, that was pathetic.

"No. We don't discharge patients without someone accompanying them out."

"That's what I figured. Thanks."

Nancy gets up and leaves. I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow. They won't let me leave alone, but really I know they won't keep me forever either. Probably only until after the surgery. I don't want to stay here but I don't know what else to do.

Shit! I meant to ask Casey if she knew who had my cell phone by any chance. I could always call Liv and ask her. I'm sure she knows.

I finish up my dinner, call Nancy back in to get the plate and figure I might as well go to bed. Just as I'm almost asleep the phone rings.

"Stabler."

"_Olds habits die hard, eh?" _She laughs.

"Guess so. To what do I owe the pleasure of your call Livvie?"

"_I…umm…just got off the phone with Casey." _Shit.

"What did she say?" God I hope she didn't tell her about Kathy.

"_All she said was to call you." _Phew!

"About tomorrow." I can't believe I'm doing this. I hate begging and this feels like it right now.

"_What about it?"_

"Do you think you can possibly come pick me up tomorrow morning? They won't let me out of here without someone accompanying me."

"_What about Kathy?" _Of course she'd ask that.

"Can't make it. So will you?"

"_Of course. I'll be there around 8:30, okay?"_

"Great! See you then." Now I can get some sleep.

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Sorry this chapter is so short, I'm already working on chapter 4 which will again be from Liv's POV. Don't forget to click on that little button down there and send me a review!!


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks again to everyone reading & reviewing!!! You guys ROCK!!!

BTW, I jumped the rating up to an 'M' because I realized I do swear an awful darn lot in here and there are 'M' things to come down the line so I did it now before I forget later.

**DISCLAIMER: **Nope

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**Olivia's POV**

My alarm goes off at 6:30am and I roll over swatting the clock off the nightstand. You'd think I'd have no problems getting up in the morning by now. Well I do. I'm totally dragging myself out of bed this morning. Stumbling into the kitchen I start the coffee maker up so I'll have a hot fresh cup of coffee ready and waiting when I get out of the shower. I walk back to the bathroom and hop in the shower. It's a good thing I have a few extra minutes because man this hot water beating down on me feels great.

45 minutes later the hot water is running out and it dawns on me what time it is. I quick jump out of the shower and towel off. Grabbing a bottle of lotion out of the cabinet I smooth it on and begin the unbearable task of trying to detangle my wet hair. Why is it I decided to leave it long again? Oh yeah, Elliot made a comment about it once. After finally getting that done I go into my bedroom and pick out a pair of light pink lace boy-shorts and a matching bra and slip those on. So what if no one ever sees my underwear anymore. It makes me feel good with that bit of femininity in my line of work.

As soon as I've got that part of myself dressed it's time for my coffee. Stealing a glance at the clock I realize I only have about 30 minutes tops to do my makeup, finish getting dressed, have breakfast, and head out the door. I suppose my breakfast may have to wait. I can always stop once I've picked up Elliot. Shit. Elliot. I didn't call Don last night to tell him I won't be in this morning. I'd better do that. Picking up the phone I dial his desk.

"_Cragen."_

"Hey, it's Olivia. I need a huge favor."

"_What's up?"_

"I need to take the morning off. I know it's extremely last minute. I meant to call last night."

"_Why?"_

"Elliot's being discharged today and for whatever reason Kathy's decided she has more important things than going to bring him home." God I sounded bitchy just then.

He chuckles. _"Go, take the whole day. Get Elliot settled in. He needs you."_

"Alright, see you tomorrow." He needs me? What does Don know that I don't?

Oh well, no time to think about that now. I finish up my coffee and pour two travel mugs full to take with me to the hospital. Running in the bathroom and putting makeup on I'm getting nervous about picking up Elliot. Nervous? Why? I have no idea. Nor do I have the time to think about that either. I go back into the bedroom and now I'm standing in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear. I grab a pair of jeans off a hanger, the ones from Abercrombie that hug my ass perfectly. Moving down to the other end of the closet I grab a chocolate brown Henley. If I do the buttons up to just the right spot it accentuates my breasts so well. Stop! What am I doing? It's then that I realize I'm dressing for Elliot. Not only is that wrong on many levels, but he can't see what I'm wearing anyway. Oh fuck it! I grab the clothes anyway and put them on.

Finally finishing up, I pick up the two mugs from my kitchen counter, grab my keys off the hook, and head out to the parking garage. Sliding in the driver's seat of my black BMW X5 I slip on my sunglasses and put the key in the ignition. Thankfully traffic isn't too bad and soon enough I'm pulling into the visitor's parking lot at Mercy General.

Taking the elevator up to the third floor I look at my watch and realize I'm a little early. Early is good. I walk down the hallway to his room once the elevator has reached the right floor. Stopping to say a quick hi to Stacy, his morning nurse, on my way by. When I walk in I notice Elliot isn't in bed. Just then I catch the strip of light under the bathroom door. Not thinking anything of it I sit down on his bed. Right as I sit down the bathroom door opens and Elliot comes strolling out in just a towel, chest still glistening with a few drops of water. Holy Jesus! Now it's not that I haven't seen him half naked before. I have. But fresh out of the shower? Wow! That towel, by the way, not hiding anything. I'm actually glad, for his sake, that he can't see right now. I'm sure I'm all sorts of red which would make him embarrassed and then he'd hide the show I'm enjoying so very much right now.

"Livvie?" Oh fuck. Wait, he can see? No, I know he can't. "Baby, I know you're here."

Okay, so sitting here quietly won't work.

"El, I'm so sorry. I didn't think being early would be a problem." Does he realize he's in a public place strolling around looking that hot?

"Calm down. I'm sure you're blushing up a storm right now." He laughs.

"Shut up."

"Seriously, it's all my fault. I left my jeans and boxers out here when I went in the shower by accident." Well, I guess that answers my earlier question.

I pick them up off the chair and hand them to him. "Here you go. I can umm…I can leave while you get ready." How wrong is it that I'm staring at this one droplet making its way down his abs while he has no idea I'm taking advantage of him being blind?

"No. Stay, please. I don't like getting naked out here anyway. Too many people walking in and out." He winks at me then takes the clothes.

"And Olivia? If you really want to check me out again sometime just let me know. I'd enjoy giving you another show." He says as he walks back in the bathroom.

How the--? Okay, I'm done trying to figure this man out.

Three minutes later Elliot comes strolling out of the bathroom. I can smell his toothpaste and cologne now. It's the cologne I bought him last Christmas. The one I've noticed him wearing everyday since.

"So what needs to be done before you're clear to leave?" I ask, hoping it's not much because I could sure use that breakfast right now.

"I have to sign some papers is all I think." Not bad.

Stacy comes walking in then carrying said paperwork. After she reads it all to Elliot so he'll know what it says, he signs it all and we are free to go. I grab his bags, take his arm, and we're on our way.

"So, I don't know about you, but I'm hungry." I tell him.

"Me too. Starving. Where do you want to go?"

"Where do you want to go?"

We used to do this all the time, this little game. We both ask then count to three in our heads and yell out where. Most of the time we pick the same place.

One, two, three…

"Skylark!" We both yell out.

We did it again. Looks like we're headed to the diner over by the station. I load up his bag in the back seat of my SUV and help him into the passenger's side. Hoisting myself into the driver's side I turn the key and we're on our way.

"This must be torture for you right now." He suddenly says.

"What?" No clue what he's talking about.

"You hate driving with me." He's right. For whatever reason I do hate driving when I'm with him.

"Temporary issue." I say, lightly squeezing his left thigh.

Before I know it we're pulling into the parking garage at the station. We can walk to the diner. Why would I pay to park when I can park here for free?

"Can we…would you mind if we go up after breakfast?" He asks.

"Sure." I get out and walk over to the other side to help him out of the SUV.

He takes my hand, lacing his fingers in mine, and we walk down to the diner. We're still holding hands as we walk in. As we grab a table and wait for our waitress I know he's glad we came somewhere familiar. That's just the way he is. Our waitress, Jenni, comes over to take our orders about two minutes after we sit down.

"Elliot, good to see you back. Olivia, you too, we've missed you both around here. Two coffees, ham and cheese omelet for Elliot and oatmeal with cinnamon for Olivia, right?"

This is what I like about this place. We haven't been here in almost two weeks and the waitress still knows our orders. I glance over to Elliot and see him nod.

"Yes Jenni, that'll be perfect." She turns and leaves.

"So what else haven't you done in the last eleven days?" He chuckles.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Jenni pretty much said you haven't been here since I've been in the hospital. What else haven't you done?" What does he care? It's none of his business.

"So?"

"So, I just…well, I just was worried about you while I was in the hospital." He did not just say that.

"Stabler, I can take care of myself without you around you know!" How dare he imply I need him to function.

"That's now what I meant. I just didn't hear from you for a while and couldn't get a hold of you. I thought maybe something was wrong." Oh.

Before I can comment Jenni brings our food and sets it down in front of us. About time too, I'm starving. We sit there in peace and quiet eating our breakfast. When we finish Elliot reaches in his pocket for his wallet.

"My treat El." I tell him as I reach across the table and take his arm, pulling his hand back up.

"Okay. But I need one thing from you." He smiles.

"What's that?"

"Help me find my cell phone."

"Done. It's actually in the top drawer of your desk." I tell him as we get up to walk back to the station.

The whole walk to the station we're holding hands, his fingers laced with mine. I could definitely get used to this. It sucks that this will all end after he has his surgery and doesn't need my help at all anymore. I like having him depend on me like this for once. Not to mention, yeah I've had a bit of a crush on him since Day One. Okay, fine, I've been in love with him. But there is one thing standing in the way of that. Kathy. No matter how much Elliot needs me today, he's always got Kathy.

We get to the station and take the elevator up to the 1-6.

"Livvie, let me try and find my way to my desk on my own, okay?" He says, and I know it's because he's afraid to let the guys see him so dependant on me.

"Sure El, no problem." I tell him then give him a reassuring kiss on the cheek.

Getting off the elevator I let him go ahead of me. Like I said, he needs to feel in charge and independent.

He opens the door and all of a sudden everyone turns around to see us. Then it's like a grand reception. Elliot's being pulled left and right by the guys which I actually find pretty funny. For all they talk about how tough they are they are suddenly a bunch of softies here.

Shortly after we get there Casey comes in. She's about the one person who actually comes over to me first.

"Hey Liv. How's the morning going?"

"Good. We had breakfast." And I say there drooling over my partner.

"Olivia Serena Benson, you're blushing." She whispers, knowing I'd kill her if she ever brought that to the guys' attentions.

I look over to the other side of the room to make sure no one's paying attention to us. Nope, Lake's in interrogation with Fin now and Munch and Elliot are over at Munch's desk chatting about something.

"I got there early, sat down on the bed. He was in the bathroom. Apparently I got there just as his shower was getting over. He comes strolling out in just a towel, chest still wet, looking hot as hell."

She laughs. "You sat there checking him out didn't you? Took advantage of the fact that he couldn't see you."

"Guilt and all, yes. It was so wrong on many, many levels."

"Couldn't tear your eyes away though, could you?" She smirks.

"No." I blush harder.

"Liv, it's not as wrong as you think. With that said, I've got something to tell Elliot and then I'm due in court." She heads over to Fin's desk where Elliot is.

I see Casey lean down in whisper something to Elliot who starts blushing before she says goodbye and leaves. She better have not told him anything about me drooling over him. Elliot then gets up from Fin's desk and walks over to where I am at mine.

"Not doing too bad, am I?" He asks, chuckling.

"Nope, not bad at all." I squeeze his hand.

"Why don't we head out?"

"Alright, sounds good." We go around saying goodbye to everyone before heading back down to my SUV.

"How about we go over to your place? Watch some movies, well I'll listen and you can watch. What do you say?" He asks nervously.

"Won't Kathy and the kids be looking for you?" Okay, something's up.

"You can help me call the kids. Maybe they can come join us. If that's okay with you of course."

"El, what's going on with you and Kathy?"


	5. Chapter 5

So I'm getting a little nervous now writing this since we're finally up to "Blinded" being on tonight. I hope once that airs and we all see that the writers obviously don't want to go the same route I am that I don't lose readers.

Since the episode hasn't aired yet, I don't know specifics such as how Elliot's blindness is cured, etc. so let's just pretend for a minute that he's going to have surgery, okay?

This is for Sam for keeping me writing.

**DISCLAIMER: **As it will be come more apparent after tonight, I don't own them!!

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**Elliot's POV**

She asked it. I really shouldn't be surprised. I did basically lay it out there that something major happened by suggesting the kids come over to her place with us. I don't want to lie to her. That's the last thing I ever want to do. But at the same time I'm not sure I'm ready to admit things went wrong again. What if she feels the same way Kathy does? Well maybe not exactly the same because she hasn't left me yet. But she could still have some of the same feelings. Fuck it! I have to tell her.

"Kathy and I are over." She's silent. I wish I could see her reaction. "Please say something."

"I'm sorry. Why? I mean, if you want to talk about it that is." I don't, but I will talk. I can't lose her too.

"She umm…she said she couldn't deal with me never being able to see her again." I tell her.

"Oh my God El! What a selfish bitch!" She reaches her right hand over to my left arm and squeezes it.

"Yes she is. So can we please head over to your place?" I beg.

"Sure."

She pulls out of the parking garage and drives us over to her apartment. When we get there she comes over to help me out of the SUV and I take her hand, lacing my fingers in hers. Suddenly it hits me. In a way I've fucked this up. If I try to follow my heart with Olivia now she's going to think I'm using her as some rebound fling. She won't get it that even though I tried to make it work with Kathy and I these last few months, it was only because of the baby, I was really in love with her. I have been, or at least I've realized it, since I almost lost her during the Gitano case. At the same time though, if I never told her nothing would ever happen because of her respect for Kathy.

Olivia might not like Kathy too much lately, but she's always respected her. Not to mention her trust in me would be shot. Her trust means the world to me. I'd risk everything before I hurt her again.

We walk up to her apartment and go inside. Once we're inside I take my cell phone out of my pocket and stumble over to the couch.

"Livvie, can you help me call the kids? Their cell numbers are in memory on my phone somewhere. Obviously I can't tell what's what." I hand her the phone.

She takes it, dials a number and hands it back to me. "Maureen." She whispers.

"Hey Sweetheart." I say as Maureen answers the phone.

"_Hi Daddy. How're you feeling?"_

"I'm doing alright. Look I was hoping maybe you'd like to come over here to Liv's to watch some movies. Bring your brother and sisters along." God I hope she doesn't say no.

"_Sure Daddy. We owe it to you. Why Liv's though?" _I knew I'd have to have this talk today if I invited the kids over here.

"I'll explain when you all get over here, okay?" Well that will buy me time.

"_Okay, let me call the others and then we'll be over." _I can't believe I'm going to get to see my kids again.

"Sounds good. See you in a bit."

We hang up and I put the phone down on the coffee table. Olivia had got up and left after handing me the phone. I wish I knew my way around her apartment better, I'd go looking for her.

"Liv?!" I call out.

"One second!" I hear her yell back, probably from the bedroom from the sound of her voice.

She comes back into the room a minute or so later.

"Done already?" She asks as I feel her sit down next to me.

"Maur's calling the other kids and bringing them over. Are you good on food and drinks?"

"Yep, I've got a fridge full of soda, beer, water, juice, everything. Food, well I'll order some pizzas. Three good?" Have I mentioned how thankful I am for her yet?

"That should be fine. I've got it though. You call, I pay." I tell her as I take my wallet out of my pocket and hope there's still money in it.

45 minutes later the buzzer goes off and Olivia gets up to answer it.

"Who is it?" She asks.

"It's us Liv." I head Dickie say.

She lets them in and when the kids get up to the apartment I smell pizza.

"Is that the pizza too?" I ask.

"Yep. The pizza guy got here right while we were buzzing Liv so we took them from him. Daddy you owe me $35." Kathleen says.

I take the pizza box she's holding and hand her my wallet.

"$35 only there Katie." I tell her hoping she'll obey my wishes and take only the right amount of money out.

She does, I think, and I get my wallet back. Okay, let's see, I need to put this pizza down. Think now, where is the table in relation to the doorway into the kitchen. I start walking forward slowly. I have this feeling that every single one of the five people watching me want to either take the pizza themselves or tell me where the table is. I know it won't be Liv.

Five steps from where I'd stopped originally I come across the table and set the pizza down. Olivia comes over and whispers to me then.

"Go take the kids into the living room, I'll get the plates and drinks. Talk to them." She kisses me on my earlobe and I hope my kids didn't see it.

"Guys, why don't we go into the living room. I need to talk to you all." Lizzie comes up to me and helps me over to the couch.

All four kids sit practically in my lap. Boy have I missed this. I hate so much that I have to have this talk with them again.

"Okay, we need to have a big talk. I know everyone is wondering why I had you come over to Liv's today. See, the thing is, your mom and I…umm…well we're not going to be getting back together after all." Okay, you can all hate me now.

"Why Daddy?" Lizzie asks. I knew she'd be the one most apt to not get it and have the questions.

"The truth Daddy." Yep, that's my Maureen, she knows I'll sugar coat it to not make them think badly of anyone.

"Okay. But I need everyone to swear you will respect your mother and I after I tell you." I'm really hating having to tell them their mom's selfish as hell.

"Okay." They all tell me.

"Alright. I called your mom last night to tell her I was coming home this morning. She…umm…she told me she couldn't deal with me never being able to see her again. That or never being able to see you guys again." I feel four pairs of arms wrap around me and I know everything will be okay.

"Is that going to happen? You never being able to see again?" Dickie asks, concern in his voice.

"Most likely no it won't. My doctor has me scheduled for surgery and there is a 99.9 percent chance it will be successful and I will see again." I tell them.

Olivia walks in with one of the pizzas then, two trips later she has brought in plates and drinks as well.

"Liv, thank you." I hear Kathleen say. "Not just for the food, for bringing our dad here."

"You're welcome Sweetie." She tells her.

The kids loosen the grasps on me and start digging into the pizza.

"So, what movie do you guys want to watch first?" Olivia asks the kids.

"How about Shrek? We can watch all of them." Lizzie suggests.

Everyone else agrees it sounds good and we settle in for movies. Olivia and I on the couch, Kathleen and Lizzie in the overstuffed chairs, and Dickie and Maureen on the smaller loveseat. It's killing me not being able to actually sit here and see my kids. When this is all over I will never again take my sight for granted let me tell you.

I realize part way into the first movie that it's not as bad as I thought it would be not being able to watch the movie. Being able to just listen I still get a lot of it.

When the movies are all over, we watched all three Shrek movies and all three Spiderman movies, the kids all start getting ready to leave.

"Hey Maur, can you drop me off over at the Holiday Inn on your way back to campus?" I ask, knowing she'll say yes.

"Sure Daddy. You going to be okay there alone?" The kids are worried about what I can do on my own. They have been all night.

"I'll be fine. Just come up and help me find my way from the bed to the bathroom once and I'll be good." I assure her.

"El, you know you can just stay here." Liv says. I would love to take her up on the offer. But it's too soon.

"I'll be fine. I swear. Thanks for the offer though." I give her a peck on the lips then head out the door to where the kids are waiting for me in the hallway.

Maureen drove the other three kids back home first before dropping me off. I'm glad for once I couldn't see because I don't think I could handle seeing the house right now.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry we didn't come see you in the hospital." Maureen tells me once we're alone in the car.

"It's okay Sweetie." It isn't entirely okay to be honest. However, I'm just glad I have them around now.

"Mom said you didn't want us there. That you didn't want us to see you in the hospital. We should've never believed it." She say, and I can tell she's about to start crying.

It's a good thing we arrive at the hotel then. Maureen gets out, wiping her eyes I'm sure, comes over to help me out, and we walk into the hotel. I hand her my wallet so she can get my credit card and with a lot of my daughter's help I get checked in. She helps me up to my room and as requested shows me how to get from the bed to the bathroom, as well as where all the towels, shampoo, and that are. Before long she's heading out for her dorm and I'm all alone again.

Just as I'm getting ready to lay down for the night my cell phone rings. Thank God for people having their own ring tones because it doesn't matter that I can't read Caller ID then. The particular one playing right now is Liv's.

"Miss me already, huh?" I tease her as I answer the phone.

"_You know it. Just wanted to make sure you get settled in." _She says.

"Been better, but I'm doing good. Maureen made sure I knew where everything is."

"_Soon El. Soon you'll be back to not needing us to function again." _There it is, another example of how she just knows me.

"Maybe I want to need you." Did I just say that aloud?

"_El…" _She says and I'll be damned if it didn't come out like a moan.

"Livvie."

"_Go to bed." _She chuckles. _"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight."_

"Goodnight Baby." I tell her and we hang up.

I lay down in bed but I cannot get her voice out of my mind. Moaning my name. Driving me crazy. How pathetic am I right now? Just thinking of that has me rock hard. Okay, I need to stop thinking about her. I trying thinking of everything, even trying to recall that conversation with Kathy. Nothing is working. Fuck it! This is the first time in months that I've been allowed to react to the feelings I get about Olivia. I'm acting on it.

I slip my hand down beneath the waist band of my boxers and slowly begin stroking myself. Hey, silver lining here, no need to close my mind to picture Liv. I can't see anything but the visions in my mind anyway. Stroking up and down my cock I can hear her voice again, in my mind I can picture her as I'm thrusting in and out of her. A few more strokes with my hand and I'm cumming on myself. Now taking my turn to moan her name.

I get up and walk into the bathroom to clean up and then head back to bed. I know it's wrong on so many levels but I can't help it. I fall asleep thinking about how I'm going to make Olivia mine now that I've been given a second chance. Now that I can bounce back from the last few months worth of my mistakes.

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Don't forget to read & review!!! Oh, and check out Cruisin' there'll be a new update up in a few minutes!!


	6. Chapter 6

Somewhat short chapter here, so I apologize for that. If you haven't heard I had meant to update this and The Reunion this morning, however somewhere between watching OZ while writing the first page of The Reunion update and 3am I fell asleep. So I will try and write it at work today, if I can't, then it shall be posted tomorrow morning.

Thank you to all my reviewers!! Your kind words mean so much to me!! You're all actually the reason that I'm continuing this after this past Tuesday's episode. I had had some major hesitation about doing it.

**DISCLAIMER: **I beg, and I beg, and I beg, yet they still aren't mine. As evidenced by the creative liberties I've taken on what was probably one of the best episodes of Season 9 so far. IMO.

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**Olivia's POV**

I had another one of those dreams last night. The ones that cause me to wake up in a hot sweat. I remember once, years ago, Alex told me there was a bet going about when Elliot and I would get together. I'm sure the pot got deeper once he started filing for divorce. She said she only told me about it because of the dreams. She figured I'd go after what I wanted. Well that's not going to happen. At least not anytime soon. I respect him too much. I respect Kathy too much.

It's funny in a way. Kathy. I want what she's got, yet I respect her for it. Right now though I despise her. I want to give her a large chunk of my mind for the things she said to Elliot. For keeping his kids from him. No one told me either way, but I just have a feeling it's her fault the kids didn't come see him in the hospital.

I can't believe she even had the nerve to show up the first day when he was admitted. She stayed maybe 10 minutes, long enough to make an appearance. She didn't even care about how he was going to be. I was the one bugging his doctor. I was the one caring.

I suppose I ought to get ready for work. I wonder if Elliot want to come down to the station today. It's got to be boring as hell in that hotel all day. Not to mention it's Monday which means his kids will be at school all day. After starting up my coffee maker I grab my cell phone. I've got two phone calls to make. Hitting speed dial 2 I make my first call.

"_Cragen."_

"Hey Don."

"_Liv, what's up?"_

"I was thinking. Now that Elliot's home he's probably going to be bored all day sitting there."

"_You want to bring Elliot down with you today, don't you?"_

"Can he?"

"_You know he's supposed to be on medical leave. I could get in trouble with the brass if I have him back working." _He told me.

"What if he's technically not working?" I'm going to get him to say yes no matter what.

I hear him sigh. _"Fine."_

"Thanks Don!"

We both hang up. Now to just call El and get him to come with me today. Hitting speed dial 1 I wait for him to answer.

"_Stabler." _Oh God he sounds good fresh from sleeping. _"Hello?" _Oh wait, sorry. Got in a daze there.

"El, it's me."

"_Livvie, Baby, what's up?"_

"So, I just got off the phone with the captain. How would you like to come down to the station with me today?" Please say yes.

"_You bringing the coffee?"_

"It's brewing right now." Perfect, he's going to say yes.

"_Okay. I need to take a shower first. How long do you think it'll be until you get here?"_

"I need a shower too still, maybe 30 minutes. I'll call when I get to the lobby okay?"

"_Sounds good. See you then."_

"Bye."

We both end the call and I go to get in the shower. Making it as quick as I can I wash up before getting out and toweling off. I quickly lotion up before going out and grabbing a black lace thong and matching bra from my dresser drawer. Moving down to the second drawer I pull out a pair of jeans and put them on as well as the black v-neck top I got from the closet. Throwing some shoes and socks on I glance at the clock seeing I have just enough time to swipe on some make up and do my hair before it's time to go get Elliot.

As soon as I've finished my hair I pour two travel mugs, grab my badge, keys, and holster my Glock and I'm off to get Elliot. I walk down to my parking garage, slip on my sunglasses and hit the road.

Ten minutes later I'm parked in the garage at the Holiday Inn and am calling Elliot.

"_Hey Livvie!"_

"Okay if I come up now?" I ask as I walk inside towards the elevator.

"_Sure. Room 317."_

I end the call, get on the elevator and hit the button for the third floor. The whole way up in the elevator I keep thinking about that dream from last night. I don't know why. It's not like anything can or will happen between us now.

When the elevator gets to the third floor and I follow the signs toward the hallway room 317 is in. I find the room and knock on the door. 35 seconds or so later Elliot comes to the door.

"Who is it?" Good, he still remembers to ask.

"It's me El."

He opens the door and moves so that I can step in the room.

"Tell me the truth Livvie, do I look okay?"

Fuck if he doesn't look edible right now. He's got on an outfit almost identical to mine which I find kind of funny.

I start laughing. "El, you look great."

"What's so funny then?" He asks, worried.

"We look like when the twins used to try and dress alike. Both in black shirts and blue jeans."

"The ones that make your ass look super especially good?" I can't believe he just said that.

"Elliot Richard Stabler!" I reach over and swat his arm.

"What?" He asks. "I can't see, I need a visual aide here so I can picture my surroundings." He chuckles.

"Let's go!" I say, taking his hand. "You have your wallet right? How about the room key?"

"Maureen put one in my wallet last night."

"Great. We're out of here."

Still holding his hand I walk down the hallway with him, subtly guiding him every step of the way. We get to the elevator and he removes his hand from mine when the door opens. He places it on the small of my back and leads me into the elevator. I immediately know what this is about. Not admitting weakness. It's alright when it's just him and I. If there's a chance anyone might see us he doesn't want them to see him needing me to get by. Honestly, I don't blame him. We both know I'd be the same way if I were in his shoes.

The elevator stops at the lobby and he bends his head down and whispers in my ear.

"Pretend I'm guiding you out the door. Please, Baby?" He actually is begging me.

"Of course."

I let him carry on the charade as we head to the parking garage. For a minute there the reality of the situation almost brings tears to my eyes. This whole thing is so not Elliot. Having to depend on others so much, not having control. Sure, he's been known to lose control at times. But this, this is different.

We get to the car and he has no choice but to let me take full control back. Let me help him into the car. Let me drive. Trust me here El, I don't want drive, I want to tell him. The whole way to the station he's quiet. One good part of him being blind is that I can observe him better. The entire ride he's looked like he wants to say something.

"What is it Elliot?" I finally ask when we're about 5 minutes from the station.

"What's what?" Okay, you think we're going to do it that way. I don't think so.

"The thing you want to say."

"How--?" He starts to ask.

"The look you have. I know you Elliot." I explain.

"Okay. Umm…how do you really feel about my being blind?" He finally asks.

I can't believe he's asking me this. Well, actually after what Kathy did, I totally believe it. I want to kick her ass right now for putting these thoughts in his mind.

"Honestly? I want to beat the shit out of the guy who did this to you. I know it's only temporary, but that doesn't negate putting you through all of this." I tell him.

"You don't feel let down or anything?"

Damn Kathy!! "Never." I assure him as we get out of my car and make out way into work.

I know he's getting some strange looks as we walk the hallways. I can see them. It's not because we're walking in together. It's because no one expected him back so soon. However, they don't know Elliot like I do. He would've been back a lot sooner if he could have.

As we walk through the doors of the 1-6 it becomes clear that Don neglected to tell the other I was bringing a guest to work with me.

"El, man, what're you doing back?" Fin asks him.

"Liv thought I could use the company." He told him, squeezing my hand. "Not that I will probably be much help. At least not until after the surgery."

"We'll find you some way to help us out Elliot." Don told him. "Just remember, you're not technically back to work."

"Got it." Elliot said.

Elliot and I walked over and sat at our desks. I had spent the last week on voluntary desk duty so all my paperwork was caught up. Since there was nothing new we sat there trying to think of things Elliot could do. Answering the phone initially sounded like a good idea. But as he was quick to point out that left him open to getting caught if any of the brass called. As slim as the possibility was since they usually call Don's desk direct, it was still a choice not work taking. Filing was obviously out due to needing to see what he was filing.

"I know!" He called out suddenly, a little later on.

"Huh?" What is he talking about?

"I know what I can do. I can type up the reports from the tapes in interrogation. Don wanted to start doing that, and it's perfect. I don't have to read anything to do it and I know my way around a computer keyboard pretty well in the dark if I say so myself."

He was so fucking proud of himself, I could tell. The only thing left for us to do would be to convince Don.

"Sounds good to me. We should go talk to Don about it." I say as we both then get up to walk to Don's office.

Elliot and I walk over to Don's office and I knock on the door. Within moments he's calling for us to come in.

"El, Liv, what can I do for you?" He asks.

"I came up with something I can do." Elliot proceeds to tell him about the plan.

All while he's telling of his plan I'm sitting there grinning like an idiot I'm sure. I am just so damn excited to see Elliot happy like this again. I knew it in my heart that it was a good idea bringing him down here. It's just what he needs right now.

"Olivia, you proof read the reports and we've got a deal." Don tells me after hearing what Elliot has to say.

It was official now. Elliot was unofficially back to work. I knew this would be step one in him bouncing back from his accident. Step one in him bouncing back from having his wife leave him yet again.


	7. Chapter 7

Honestly, not much to say about this chapter. It's short, but I really wanted to stop it where I did so that the events that follow would end up in the next chapter in Olivia's POV.

This is also what happens when you sit and write while watching hours of Conviction. I know this one little thing in here doesn't jive with the real stories going on with the show right now, but FanFIC, I can make it happen if I want.

This is for peachjr, you ROCK!

**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing that you might even remotely recognize.

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**Elliot's POV**

It's been one week since I've unofficially started back to work. So far that's going good. I miss being able to see the office, the people in it, and the things I'm actually doing. But I can't change all that. I can't make myself see.

It's been two days since I moved into my new apartment. A nice 4-bedroom in Manhattan that I got for this unbelievable price. Maureen's been staying over the last couple of days. Much to Kathy's dismay I'm sure, the other three kids will be moving in on the weekend.

Speaking of Kathy and I. I signed all the divorce papers again five days ago. I also requested the sample fluid from the amniocentesis she had done be analyzed for paternity testing purposes. The results should be in at the end of the week.

All of this just in time for recovering from my surgery on Friday morning. I'm looking forward to being able to see again, but nervous as hell about it not working. Call me the selfish one now, but I don't know that I could take not being able to ever see my kids or Olivia again. It would kill me. It's been okay when this has been temporary, but not on a permanent basis.

Thursday afternoon Olivia and I are coming back from a late lunch. When we get back to the station it's eerily quiet. Out of habit I look around for everyone. Of course I can't see anything. We're walking over to our desks when Olivia finally says something.

"Everyone's here. They want to give you a surprise party before your surgery tomorrow. I won't let anyone jump out and yell surprise though." She whispers to me.

"Thanks everyone! So, who all is here?" I ask, since obviously I can't see.

They go around the room doing a roll call. Olivia, Fin, Munch, Lake, Don, Melinda, Casey, Huang, and even Dana Lewis is here. My four kids have come down too since they're all out of classes by now. Then I hear it. From the back of the room. At least that's my guess since the voice is somewhat hushed.

"I'm here too, El."

Oh my fucking God! No way! It can't be her.

"Alexandra Cabot?!" I still can't believe it.

"In the flesh." She tells me, having come closer and now hugging me.

"How?" I ask her.

"Don got in touch with Agent Hammond, said I was needed at home, that it was bullshit keeping me hidden in WPP when Conners was in jail. Hammond's letting me come back home." Alex says.

It was so great having her back. It's like that feeling you get when your whole family is together at Christmas. Our family at the 1-6 was finally all back together again. Everyone stayed for cake and socializing for the next hour or so. Then people slowly began to leave until it was just Don, Olivia, the kids, and I. Don called Liv over for something which left the kids and I alone to talk.

"Daddy, are you sure you don't need us to come over tonight?" Kathleen asks.

"No, go out for dinner with your brother and sisters. I'll be fine. You're coming over Saturday to move in right?" God I hope they didn't change their minds.

"Definitely, bright and early. When do you think they'll let you come home?"

"Dr. Murray said hopefully Monday. The swelling should be down enough by then to tell if I'll be able to see again or not." I tell them.

"It'll work. I just know it." Kathleen says as they all embrace me in hugs.

I can hear Olivia walking towards us as the kids pull away.

"Alright, who's headed home?" She asks.

"It's just me Liv. The kids all do dinner together on Thursday nights."

"Well then, let's get going!" She takes my hand and we all walk out to the elevator and head down to the parking garage.

We get down to the garage and I kiss each of the kids goodbye and vow to see them again the next time we're all together. Once they've walked off Olivia helps me into her SUV and we take off for my apartment. A few minutes later we're pulling into the parking garage. We get out of the vehicle and head up to my apartment.

As soon as Olivia opens the door and we get inside I take her hand and lead her to the sofa in the living room area.

"Livvie, we need to talk." I tell her as we sit down.

"What?"

"If I don't make it through this in one piece I need you to know that I love you Liv." I say, hoping she doesn't run.

"Love ya too El." She says.

She doesn't get it though. She thinks I mean just as friends. Maybe it would be best if I don't say anything more. Maybe she only wants to be friends. Hey, I can live with that. I have for years already.

"Stay here tonight."

"El, I can't. What about Kathy?"

What the fuck does she have to do with anything?

"Liv, don't you get it? I don't want Kathy back. That's why I moved, why I filed for divorce."

"Yeah, but once you can see again she'll want you back and I know you'll take her back. Elliot, that's what you do."

"Not a chance." I tell her, taking her hand.

"Please stay? You have to be here by 5:30 tomorrow morning anyway. Use Maureen's bed if you want. She said she's going to stay with the kids at Kathy's tonight. Something about a parent-free Stabler Kids sleepover."

"Alright. Fine. I'll stay." She concedes.

I stand up and try to walk down the hall to Maureen and Kathleen's room. Once I finally get there I realize I have no clue what clothes she has there. Thankfully my room is right across the hall. I walk in and go over to the dresser and grab some boxers and a t-shirt and take them back to Olivia.

"Thanks El." She says, taking the clothes from me.

"We'll figure something out for tomorrow if Maureen doesn't happen to have clothes you can wear. For now though, go get changed and I'll call and order us some Chinese. Okay?"

"Sounds good."

She gets up off the sofa and I assume heads to one of the bathrooms to change. I reach in my pocket and grab my cell phone and dial the Chinese restaurant down the block. How sad is it that I've lived her only two days and already I have their number memorized. I order our usual dishes and hang up. Needing to get more comfortable I stumble back to my bedroom and find the drawer my basketball shorts are in, grab a pair, and change into them. A few minutes later I come out of the bedroom and go back to the couch to sit down with Olivia.

"Food will be here in 20-30. Can you--?"

"Yep, I'll get it from him. You've made Mo do it the last couple of days, haven't you?"

"Yes." I know I'm blushing now.

"You have to make a deal here though. You go grab the drinks out of the fridge. If I know you, you have a bottom shelf full of beers that you can find in the dark." She chuckles.

"Deal."

We sit there in silence for a few more minutes before Olivia turns the TV on.

"Just think, this time next week you'll be actually watching TV." She says.

"I hope so. Can I be honest though Liv?" Here I go again.

"Of course." She takes my hand in hers.

"All I really want to be able to see again is you and my kids."

"El." She warns.

"I mean it."

Saved by the bell. Just then my buzzer goes off. Chinese is here. I grab my wallet out of my back pocket and hand it over to Olivia to go pay for the food. Feeling her get up off the sofa I head for the kitchen to grab some beers. Taking a second I try to remember where the plates are. Finally remembering I grab two. Normally we just eat out of the cartons, but you never know.

Having tucked the plates under my arm I pick up the two bottles of beer and walk back to the living room.

"Plates? Since when do we use plates?" Olivia asks.

"I thought maybe you'd want to be different."

"I'll stick to my carton. Yours is right in front of your spot on the sofa on the coffee table."

I sit down and pick up my carton of General Tso's chicken, some chopsticks, and dig in. A few bites in I reach over searching from Olivia's carton of BBQ Pork, only to find nothing but air. Okay. So maybe she's farther away than I thought. I try again to find her carton. Nothing.

"Livvie." I growl at her. "Come on Baby. I want some of your BBQ Pork."

"Good for you." She laughs.

"Liv, no torturing the blind man."

"Aww…El, I'm not going to be able to do it much longer." She teases.

"So torture me other ways. Tell me your standing in front of me naked when I can't see you. Please let me have some of your dinner."

"Fine. Here." She taps my hand with hers and I reach out and grab some BBQ Pork from her.

"Thank You." I smile.

"And El, you're wrong. I'm sitting here." She whispers seductively.

Fuck. Now I'm picturing Olivia all sorts of naked. Trying to concentrate on something else, I finish up my dinner.

"Well, I'm going to go to bed." I say, getting up from the sofa and walking down to my bedroom.

Twenty minutes later I hear my door slip open. She takes three steps in the room, turns and walks back out. Two minutes pass and the same thing. Door opens, she walks three steps in the room, turn, and leaves. Finally the third time this happens I can't take it anymore.

"Livvie, get over here." I call to her, putting the bed in front of where I'm laying on my side.

"El."

"Seriously Baby, get over here and lay down. We have to be up in a few hours. Go to sleep."

She walks over, pulls the comforter and sheet back, and climbs in, allowing me to hold her as we both fall asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry it's taken me so long to get this up, I've been lazy lately. There, I admitted it ;-)

I hope you all enjoy this. Of course as you know, I've gone a slightly different route on the extent of Elliot's blindness.

**DISCLAIMER:** Not mine

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**Olivia's POV**

Waking up in Elliot's arms this morning I have never felt safer. Or more loved. And you know what? That scares the hell out of me. Not the safer part, I have always felt safe with Elliot. Ever since we became partners. This love thing though? That's what scares me. He meant it yesterday. I knew the minute he told me he loved me that he meant it. And not just in a friends only way either. He is married with a baby on the way. He's not supposed to feel that way about me. Only his wife.

I must have been laying here awake in his arms for about 10 minutes when he starts waking up. He pulls me tighter in his arms and starts kissing my neck. That's when I feel it. Him. Hard against me. Yep, he's definitely thinking about laying here with Kathy. Looks like being blind is good for something. I don't want to look and see if his eyes are open or not though.

"Morning Livvie." He says to me, in that sexy as sin gravely, groggy morning voice.

Okay, so I guess he wasn't thinking about Kathy. Which means…he is hard because of me.

"El, we should, umm…get up now. We've got to get to the hospital soon." I tell him trying to get out of his arms.

"I don't know about you, but I'm already up." He says seductively, rubbing his erection up against me more, as if he needed to accentuate his point there.

"Elliot." I warn him.

"Okay, okay. Getting out of bed. I've got it." He tells me, letting go of me finally.

I get up out of bed and walk across the hall to Maureen and Kathleen's room to find something to wear. Settling on a pair of jeans and a Henley I got dressed and went out to wait for Elliot to get out of the shower.

Ten minutes later he comes walking out in track pants and a white wife beater. The epitome of hotness right now.

"So, you ready to go?" I ask when I finally remember it might be good to speak.

"I'm ready to see you and my kids again. I'm not sure how ready I am for the actual surgery. What if it doesn't work." He says, voice trembling.

I have never seen him this scared before, even during the Gitano case when he was held hostage.

"If it doesn't work, which won't happen, nothing will change. Your kids will still love you to no end." I tell him, taking his hand.

"What about you?" He squeezes my hand.

"Elliot."

"No. I'm not keeping my feelings to myself anymore." He says forcefully.

"I'm not Kathy."

There, I'll leave him to take that however he wants. I of course mean I won't leave him because of being blind. I also mean that I'm not her. He shouldn't be having these feelings about me.

Still holding his hand I start leading him to the door so we can leave. He holds my hand and walks next to me down to the elevator. When we get to the lobby we silently walk out to my SUV and get inside.

20 minutes later I'm pulling into Mercy General's visitors lot again. The whole ride Elliot had his hand on my thigh. I know it was just a comfort gesture for him, and I know it's making me a hypocrite to think it, but fuck if it didn't feel good.

We get out of the SUV and walk inside the building. Inside Elliot gets checked in and walked back to get prepped for surgery. I'm shown to the waiting room.

"Don't worry Mrs. Stabler, we'll have your husband back to you in no time." The nurse tells me. She walks off before I can correct her.

Just like that I'm sitting there all alone worrying about whether or not I'll ever truly get my partner back. An hour and a half later, there's still no word on how he's doing.

Just then I hear someone walking towards the waiting room. Someone who's not a nurse.

"Alex? What're you doing here?" I ask as she walks in the room.

"Figured you could use a friend right now." She tells me.

Alex sits down next to me and takes the Cosmo magazine I'm reading out of my hands.

"So, since I haven't been around, clue me in on why I hear Elliot's still married and expecting a baby with Kathy." Never one to be subtle, that Alexandra Cabot.

"Rough case, he went home." I can't do this with her. I can't do it with Casey, I can't do it with Alex.

"I see. And now? I don't recall seeing Kathy here with you."

"Apparently she couldn't deal with Elliot being blind. Hasn't been to see him since the day of the accident when they brought him in."

"Let me guess. You're still denying your feelings for him after all these years."

"Yes." I mumble.

"Yeah, just what I thought."

"He loves me." I don't know why I'm telling her that.

"Wait. What?"

"Yesterday after we left the station I took him back to his apartment. He told me then."

"He meant it too, didn't he?" She knows me, she knows I wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't.

"He meant it. That doesn't change things though. Once he's all healed up and Kathy wants him back again he'll go to her.

"I doubt it." Alex tells me. "It obviously took him a lot to admit that he loves you. He's not going anywhere."

We're interrupted by Elliot's cell phone ringing. I'm debating whether or not to answer.

"Stabler's phone." I finally decide to just answer.

"_This is Elliot's lawyer, is he there?"_

"Nope. I'm his partner, Olivia Benson. He's in surgery right now."

"_Can you have him call me when he's feeling up to it? I have the results of his paternity test for him." _The WHAT?!?

"Umm…yeah, sure. I'll let him know. He probably won't get to call until tomorrow. Will that be okay?" It'd better be.

"_No problem. No changes need to be made from the custody papers we filed last time around. Bye for now."_

He hangs up and suddenly it hits me. Holy Shit! The baby isn't Elliot's!

"Alex?"

"Who was that?" She asks, confused.

"Elliot's lawyer. I don't think he realized it but he just told me the baby isn't Elliot's." I tell her wide eyed.

"Excuse me?" She asks, just as shocked as I am.

"Yeah. My thoughts exactly. Although I guess it explains why she left so easily."

Okay. So, I have two choices here. I break the news to Elliot or I leave that for his lawyer. Either way he'll be crushed. His nine months pregnant, ready to give birth any day now, soon to be ex-wife, who's told him for almost a year now that she's carrying his child lied. I could just beat her senseless right now. You know, if she wasn't pregnant. So much for fucking respecting Kathy.

"So, you going to tell him?" Alex asks.

"No clue. No matter what he's going to be pissed."

"You want my honest opinion?" DUH!

"Of course I do."

"He's going to be more upset if he finds out later that you knew. How I can't figure out just yet. But you know if he does find out he will." She says.

"I've got to tell him." I realize.

There's footsteps coming down the hall again. This time it's one of the nurses. She walks in the room and stands in front of me.

"Mrs. Stabler?"

"Benson. Olivia Benson. I'm his partner actually." I let her know.

"Sorry, my apology. I just assumed…well, you are listed as his next of kin." She tells me.

Alex and I exchange a confused look.

"How is he?" I ask, hoping he's made it through okay.

"He was just coming to when I left. Calling for you actually, that is if you are Livvie. The surgery went well so far. Within the next day or so we should know if it was successful."

"Can I see him?"

"As soon as we get home in a room but you and your sister can go see him. He may still be a bit out of it though. I'll send someone for you when it's time." She says before leaving.

"My sister, huh?" I laugh.

"Well, Liv, you know you're just like a sister to me." Alex tells me, trying to hold back a laugh as well.

"I should probably call the kids and let them know El's out of surgery."

"I'll head over to the station and tell them all." She says and turns to leave.

I pick up my cell phone and dial Elliot's apartment, hoping someone's over there by now. Five rings later there's an answer.

"_Hello?"_

"Katie, it's Olivia."

"_Liv, is he okay?" _She asks me, panicked.

"He just got out of surgery Sweetie. The nurse said everything went good so far. It's too soon to tell if he can see again though."

"_Can we come see him?"_

"Sure. He's being moved to a room in a few so call me when you get here and I'll let you know which."

"_Okay. It'll probably be about an hour, the twins are still out in Queens. Involved in some argument about the move no doubt." _I can sense her rolling her eyes.

"Alright. See you then."

As I'm ending the call, Stacy, Elliot's nurse from days when he was in the hospital after the accident comes in.

"Olivia! As much as I don't like seeing return patients, I am glad to see you and Elliot back."

"So, I take it he's on the same floor?"

"Same floor, same room. C'mon, I'll walk you up." She says, helping me out of my chair.

We go down the hall to the stairway and walk up to Elliot's floor. Knowing what I know now about Kathy, I'm not afraid to see him like I was after he called me Baby or even like I was that first time after the accident. Now I'm not afraid of how he feels, or how I feel. I'm done hiding from it. I'm going to seize the day. Whatever Elliot wants between us, he'll get.

Once we've reached Elliot's room I walk right in.

"Livvie, Baby, you're still here." He groans out, still half out of it.

"Yeah, Honey, no place else I'd rather be."

"I love you, you know that right?" Moment of truth here.

"I know. I love you too El." I tell him, trying to say it so he knows I really mean it this time, but not sound like I'm going overboard.

He reaches for my hand and I take his in mine, lacing my fingers with his. For a moment I'm glad his eyes are bandaged up. He can't see the tears falling down my cheeks, thinking how to break the news to him about Kathy's baby.


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own anything you even remotely recognize.

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**Elliot's POV**

"Elliot, we ready to take these cumbersome bandages off?" Stacy asks as she and Dr. Murray approach my bed.

It's been two days since my surgery. Three days total that Olivia's been here with me pretty much the whole time. I think she's only left to shower. All four kids have been to see me each day too. That has made my stay so much more bearable. The moment of truth is here though. It's time to finally find out if the surgery worked.

Olivia gets up to leave the room and I grab her arm.

"Don't you dare leave. I want you right here with me for this." I tell her.

"Okay Elliot, here we go." Dr. Murray says.

He pulls the tape off the bandages at the back of my head and slowly starts unwrapping. Once that is off he removes the bandages from each eye.

"Tell me what you see Elliot."

It's fuzzy. I close my eyes for a brief moment before opening them again. It's still blurry some, but turning to my left I can see Olivia standing there.

"Livvie."

"Yeah, Sweetheart, I'm right here. Tell Dr. Murray what you see." She says to me.

"You. Baby, I see you." I smile. "You're a bit blurry, but I can see you."

"That's excellent. Now things will remain blurry until the swelling is gone. As it gets better your vision will get better. I see no problem with discharging you early if you'd like." Dr. Murray says.

"Today?" I ask excitedly.

"I can get the papers ready and we'll have you out of here by the afternoon."

This is the best news. I'm going to be able to go home today. I'll get to see my kids before they go back to school tomorrow.

"Sounds great!"

Stacy and Dr. Murray leave and I'm left in the room with Olivia. The woman I was scared as hell I'd never see again. The woman who means the world to me. Remind me again why I'm having a baby with my soon to be ex-wife? That's right. Brief moment of insanity when I honestly thought that I needed that comfort zone back.

"El. There's something I need to tell you before you leave." Olivia says, nervously.

"Baby, what's wrong?" She's really making me nervous now too.

"Swear you won't get mad?"

"Benson, just tell me."

"No. Swear first." She demands, and I know this is huge.

"Okay. I swear I won't get mad at you." I tell her. I just want to know what it is.

"Okay. Well, umm…Friday when you were in surgery your phone rang." She begins.

"And?"

"And I answered it." I have never seen her panic like this.

"That's fine Liv. I'm not mad about that." I try and reassure her.

"It gets worse. It was your lawyer calling. God, El, I shouldn't have answered it in the first place."

She's crying. Olivia Benson is actually standing here in front of me crying. Suddenly it occurs to me why she's so nervous. My lawyer was calling with the paternity test results and he must have accidentally told her the results.

"She's not mine, is she?" I ask. Not that I need confirmation.

I know that's the truth because why would Olivia be nervous about telling me the baby is mine.

"Elliot, I'm so sorry." She pulls me into her arms.

"Livvie, it's okay. I'm not mad you found out. You know I would have told you as soon as I knew."

I make a bold move and kiss her on the forehead.

"I can leave you alone once I get you home so you can deal with this." She suggests.

"Not a chance. I've done a lot of thinking this week about the possibility of her not being mine. Honestly, I'm okay with it. Angry as hell at Kathy for leading me on for months, sure. But overall I'm okay."

I smile at her, hoping she realizes it's a genuine smile. I'm not lying to her. I really have spent the past week running this scenario through my head. At first the thought upset me. Then I realized that if she wasn't my baby there really was nothing I could do about it. Kathy and I are in the process of divorcing and were separated back then. If she was mine, the circumstances surrounding her conception were less than ideal. That night was a mistake. I know that.

"You're really okay?" Olivia asks me.

"More than. I'm actually thankful that Kathy and I aren't bringing a baby into this world with our current situation." This is so true.

She hugs me a smiles.

"I guess we'd better get you ready to leave then." She says, as she gets up and goes to grab me some clothes.

"Yep. Let's go."

I take the clothes from her and walk into the bathroom to get dressed. I have no problem with Olivia seeing me changing. I put on clean boxers earlier, it'd just be a shirt and jeans. But, I'm not in the mood for others walking in. While I'm in the bathroom I hear her on the phone.

"Case? He can see! We're headed home in a little bit."

'We're headed home.' I love the sound of that. Baby steps there Stabler. We've just gotten to the point where she's hugging me and not running when I express my feelings for her. Asking her to move in would send her running. I'm not losing my partner again. No way!

I come out of the bathroom dressed and I can see someone standing next to Olivia.

"Stacy?" I ask, since I've never actually seen my nurse.

"Yes sir." She says.

"Wow! It's good to finally see you. So does this mean I'm ready to go?"

"You sure are. I just need you to sign some paperwork and you're on your way."

She hands me the paperwork and goes over it with me before I sign it all. Before I know it, Jesse, the orderly who took me down to the gym before, is wheeling me out and we're on our way to leaving.

Olivia goes ahead and gets her SUV and pulls up in front of the entrance. She hops out of the truck and comes over to help me in. She then gets back in and we drive off.

"So, Tuesday morning. I was thinking, I'll stop by and pick you up for breakfast before your appointment." She tells me.

"Or…never mind." No, I can't ask that. I'm not going to rush things.

"El. If you don't want to, that's fine. I'll just come pick you up for the appointment." She says, disappointment evident even as she tries to hide it.

"No. That's not it. Actually Livvie I was going to suggest you staying over Monday night." I'm blushing. What the fuck?

She reaches her right hand over and starts running it up my left thigh. Just as she's about to feel exactly what she's doing to me she speaks.

"We'll see." She whispers.

A little while later we're pulling into the parking garage at my building. Her hand hasn't moved yet. Only when it's necessary so that we can get up does she remove it. We get out of the SUV and walk inside and up to my apartment.

"DADDY!" My girls call out as I walk in the living room.

"Did it work, can you see us?" Maureen asks.

"Yes." I smile. "It's still a little blurry, but that will go away in the next day or so." I say, hugging each of my girls.

"Don't ever scare us like that again Dad." Kathleen whispers to me.

"I promise to try not to." I chuckle. "Is your brother in his room? I've got something important to tell you all."

"Yeah, I'll go get him." Lizzie tells us before leaving the room.

"On that note, I think I'd better head home." Olivia says.

I walk over to where she's still standing by the door.

"Stay. Please. I could really use you here while I do this." I beg.

She relents and just then Lizzie and Dickie walk back in the room. The kids all sit on the couch while Olivia and I are in the two chairs in the living room. I hate having to tell them this.

"I need everyone to listen to what I have to say. No interruptions. Okay?"

"Okay."

Olivia squeezes my arm encouraging me.

"Your mother and I are getting divorced. It's absolutely no fault of any of you. We just thought we could work things out but can't." I begin.

I don't know how to tell them the rest. Even if they are sitting there smiling. I really wish I had a large drink right now. The toughest part of this right now I think is even just telling them how I found out. Not even what I found out. But how. Any lie about why the test was run will not slip past them. They're all too old for that. Well, here goes.

"After your mom and I decided to get divorced I requested to have a test done to make sure whether or not your baby sister is mine or not. Well, the test results came back. She's not my daughter."

Alright, that was horrible. Just sitting there watching their faces. I'm sure they're sitting there thinking horrible things about Kathy now. Whether or not she lied to me they shouldn't think badly about her because of this. Kathleen raises her hand, and I feel like I'm in school again.

"Umm…tell me to shut up if it's none of our business. But, before that night, you and Mom were separated, right? I mean you were splitting up before, right?" She asks.

I know exactly what she's getting at here. I know just why she asked that. She's trying to figure out if Kathy cheated on me.

"You're right. We were. Never would I say your mom cheated on me. I'm sure you're all thinking about that. Please don't think she did." I tell them, hoping to help what they're thinking.

"Did she know?" Lizzie asks me.

"Honestly, I don't know. I just found out. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to her yet."

"What's going to happen to us?" Dickie wants to know.

Knowing the worst part is over, Olivia gets up and goes into the kitchen. I hear her fumbling around in there. I have no clue what she's up to, but I need to talk to my kids now.

"Maureen is old enough now that she's free to do whatever she wants. Kathleen, you'll be 18 soon, so I'm sure the same will apply. As for Dickie and Lizzie, if it's okay with the both of you I'd like to petition for custody of you." I tell them, hoping the twins say yes.

The kids hold one finger up asking me for a moment and they all get into a huddle. I swear I'm so fucking nervous here. After about a minute and a half they all turn back towards me.

"Would we live her? Like all the time?" Lizzie asks.

"That could be up to you. If I file for an am granted custody with this being your primary residence then you would live here the majority of time. I want to know what you guys think before I do anything."

"I want to live here." Dickie says almost immediately.

"Me too." Lizzie agrees.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I will have to call my lawyer tomorrow though. We'll have to alter the paperwork from before to request primary residence be with me.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah Maur?"

"So now that you and Mom are getting divorced are you finally going to admit you're in love with Olivia?" She asks, smirking at me.

Shit! Okay, so they know about that, huh? Here I thought I'd been good about hiding that around them.

"Umm…uhh…" Yes, ladies and gentlemen my children have me speechless.

As if she head them, and really she probably did, Olivia comes walking in then.

"I'm going to run out and grab some things at the store to finish up lunch." She says as she walks in.

I wonder if the kids caught that blush on her face. She definitely heard Maureen's question. We both know I've done that already. I've told her twice now that I love her. However, we haven't discussed her feelings. She said she loves me and since Friday Olivia has definitely been more touchy feely, teasing, and all that. So that's a plus, but we need to talk before I go spilling things to my kids.

"Why don't I walk you down to the truck?" I tell Olivia and all but run out the door with her.

"El?"

"Let's talk first. Okay? Tonight?"

She nods and I shock the hell out of both of us with my next move. I turn her towards me and attack her lips with my own. I know it's cruel but after the kiss I say nothing. I just turn and leave. Leaving her there shocked and stunned I'm sure. Hopefully I'm also leaving her thinking about us. Considering something between us.


	10. Chapter 10

Two updates in two days, aren't you all just the luckiest people ever! LOL

Just a couple quick things. I honestly don't remember if we've ever heard anything about Kathy working or that, so I'm taking some creative liberty with that. Also, I am having a blonde moment and can't remember if E/K were together or not when Liv was with computer crimes, I don't feel like looking either, so let's just say they weren't.

**DISCLAIMER: **Christmas is coming, so maybe just maybe? Not yet though.

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**Olivia's POV**

Wow! He actually kissed me. I knew it was coming soon enough. Hell, I have been too tempted to just do it myself the last couple of days. Forget waiting for him to make the first move. That kiss, as brief as it was, was probably the best I've ever gotten. Peppermint. That's what he tasted like. It must have been his toothpaste, that's about all I can attribute it to. Whatever it is, that man is yummy in so many ways.

Maureen asked him if he was finally going to admit he loves me now. It really threw me off that the kids knew. At least they all seemed to be rooting for us. That's a good thing. Now to just crack what exactly we are. I'm pretty certain he wants us to be a couple. I would be lying if I said I didn't want us to be. The one thing holding me back right now though? Work.

I need to tell someone. On my way to pick up the rest of the ingredients for the chicken and rice soup I'm making I call Alex. I know she'll help me.

"_Cabot."_

"Hey Sis." I chuckle. It's become a joke with us now.

"_So Casey said Elliot came home today." _She says.

"Yes he did. He's actually at his apartment with the kids right now. I started making them chicken and rice soup but he had no chicken broth so I'm on my way to the store now."

"_What happened? I know you Liv, you didn't call just to chat. Not today." _She tells me and I chuckle.

"He kissed me."

"_And you're out shopping instead of making out with Detective Mc Hottie?" _She asks.

"The kids are home." I state simply.

"_Alright. Good luck with that. Call me tonight?"_

"Definitely."

I end the call and walk in the market to grab some cans of chicken broth. As I'm standing in line my phone rings.

"Benson."

"_Hey Baby." _It's him.

"What's up?" I ask nonchalantly.

"_Where'd you go? You've been gone forever."_

"10 minutes Elliot. I'm down at Snyder's picking up chicken broth to finish the soup. Is there anything else you guys need?"

"_I think we're good, thanks. You're coming back soon right?" _He asks.

"Paying right now." I say as I hand the clerk my money.

"_See you soon. I love you." _He whispers the last part and I know at least one of his kids must be right there.

"I love you too, El." I tell him before ending the call.

The whole ride back to Elliot's I keep thinking how natural that phone call felt. How right it felt to be saying 'I love you' to him. You'd think we'd been doing it our whole partnership. Before I know it I'm pulling up in front of his building and walking up to ring the buzzer. He lets me in the door and I head to his apartment.

"Livvie, you know you could have used your key." Elliot tells me as I walk in the door.

"That's for emergencies."

"Well, I'd like to hope after the last couple of days we're past that. But, we'll talk later about that."

I go into the kitchen and finish up the soup before dishing it out into six bowls. Elliot calls the kids to the dining room table as I set all the bowls at the table. They all come in and sit down.

"So, how's school going Mo?" I ask, trying to make conversation.

"Not too bad. I only need something like six credits to graduate." She says.

"That's great!" I tell her.

"I made high honor roll again Olivia." Lizzie tells me excitedly.

"Way to go Lizzie!"

The kids continue making idle chit chat and I'm so glad for this lunch. Ever since Elliot went back to Kathy I've felt majorly distanced from the whole Stabler clan. Especially the kids. When Kathy and Elliot split last time I started to spend more time with the kids. Kathy had gone back to work and when I was working computer crimes I'd hang with the kids when I got off work until Kathy got home or Elliot came to pick them up and on weekends. So it feels so great to catch up with the kids. It is short lived however.

"Umm…Daddy?"

"Yeah Liz?"

"Dickie and I kind of told Mom we'd come over tonight and watch movies. We umm…we didn't realize you'd be home before tomorrow." She nervously tells her dad.

"Okay." He tells her. "What time?"

"Well, I was going to take them over around 3pm." Maureen adds, not sounding too thrilled.

"I can take them over Mo. You can stay here with Katie and your dad, spend some time together." I say.

"Nah, that's okay. I have a few things to pick up at the store and that. Katie, you should come too, give Dad time to rest." Maureen says.

Glancing at the clock, I see that it's 2:40pm. Everyone finishes eating and the kids get up and take their bowls in the kitchen before getting their coats so they can leave.

"I'll have everyone back here by 10pm at the latest." Maureen says, finally convincing Kathleen to go too.

I go in and start doing the dishes while the four kids kiss their father goodbye, and after saying goodbye to both of us they leave. Leaving Elliot and I alone. Why am I nervous about this? Oh yeah, that's right, I had the dream last night again.

"So, we've got seven whole hours to ourselves. Whatever shall we do?" Elliot asks, coming in the kitchen where I'm just finishing up the dishes from lunch.

He walks up behind me at the sink, slips his arms around my waist, and starts kissing my neck.

"El, we need to talk about this, remember?"

"Mmmhmm." He half agrees.

"Honey, this isn't talking." I tell him.

"Other things I'd rather do." He says before starting to suck and nibble at the back of my neck.

Oh fuck it! He's found the spot right behind my earlobe that drives me wild. We can talk later. I have been waiting over 8 years now for this moment. I am seizing it!

I turn around in Elliot's arms so that I'm not facing him. I smirk at him before standing up on my tip toes and kissing him. This time running my tongue along the seam of his lips until he opens his mouth far enough for me to slid my tongue in and massage his own. We're exchanging all the love we have for each other with our kissing.

"Livvie? Bedroom?" He asks tentatively, breaking the kisses momentarily.

This is going to change everything. I know it. I also know that it'll be more than just a one night thing. More than a rebound fling.

I nod slightly and having his answer Elliot leads me to his bedroom. We barely make it in the room before his lips are back on mine. I take hole of the hem of his t-shirt and pull it off over his head. Slowly I start running my hands down his chest scraping my finger nails across his abs.

"God your body is a sin." I whisper.

As I'm teasing him moving my hands lower to graze the top of his waistband he pull off my Henley.

"Fuck Livvie! If I had known that was what's under those shirts I'd have done this years ago." He tells me. "Even blurry you're sexy as hell."

I chuckle then continue my way down to the button on his jeans. Pushing it through the slot I start to push them down off his hips. Once they're around his ankles I reach back up, grab his boxers, and pull them down too. I'm left staring in shock and awe at his impressive length.

"See something you like there, Benson?" He says.

"Oh yeah."

I push him over to the bed so he's sitting there on the end. Kneeling on the floor I take him in my mouth, relaxing my throat so his whole cock fits.

"Mmm…Liv. You don't have to."

I release him briefly. "I want to."

I begin sucking up and down his shaft from base to tip and back while my right hand fondles his balls. I keep this up until he's at the point of release. He cums and I swallow every drop he has to offer. He pulls my lips up to his and starts kissing me again while pulling me onto the bed with him.

"That was sexy as hell Livvie." He tells me, between kisses.

"Kathy never?"

"Never."

I smile before jumping back into his kisses. I can't believe we're doing this as he makes quick work of removing my jeans, thong, and bra, leaving me as naked as he is. Flipping us over so he's on top of me he starts at my breasts and places kisses all the way down to my core. Once there, he nips and sucks and laps at my clit until I'm cumming with my orgasm.

"So much better than my dreams." I sigh.

"You dream about me doing that huh?" He teases, placing the tip of his cock at my entrance.

"All the fucking time." I tell him, bucking my hips up trying to get him to slide in me.

"Condom?" He asks, pausing.

"On the pill. Up to you." I say.

I get his answer as he thrusts in me just then. Sensing my discomfort, his stills to give my body time to adjust to his size. Soon though I'm encouraging him on.

We continue this age old dance for what seems like a lifetime. Each taking turns being on top and in control. Five orgasms later, our bodies totally in sync even off the job, I can tell he's close. He flips us so he's on top once more and starts pounding faster and harder into me.

"Baby, I'm so close."

"Me too El. Me too."

A few thrusts later he's bringing me over the edge for the sixth and most powerful time that afternoon. My orgasm triggers his own and he's spilling his seed in me. A new sensation that I definitely would love to feel over and over again from him for the rest of our lives.

Our bodies are still humming for a few minutes. Elliot takes me in his arms and whispers to me.

"I love you, Olivia. So much."

"I love you too." I reply.

We opt not to get out of bed the rest of the day. We lay in each other's arms watching movies and making love three more times before 9:45pm comes around. We know then that'd be best to get up and dressed again before the kids come home.

We finish dressing just in time as the kids are home 90 seconds after we are done. Self-consciously, I feel like I'm wearing a sign saying 'I just made love to your father over and over and over' because of the looks I'm getting from the kids as they come home.

The kids all head to bed as it's an early Monday morning the next day. As Maureen and Kathleen walk to their room, Maureen opting to stay over, I just barely catch them whispering.

"Looks like the told her." Kathleen tells her sister, laughing.


	11. Chapter 11

So, I had originally planned to have this posted this morning, but then that didn't work. After last night's episode I got in a "hating Kathy" funk, even after the hug (!!), and wrote 4 pages up at 12:30am last night/this morning. This morning the story took me over and I finished up another 6. YIKES!! So you're looking at probably the longest chapter ever for any of my stories. Or at least close.

This is for Laura, I owe you some Elliot love girl!

**DISCLAIMER: **"You're his father." Does that seem like something I would've had Kathy say to Elliot if they were mine? Not if you know me.

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**Elliot's POV**

Yesterday was perfect. She wouldn't stay over last night though. Not until we talk. Not until we tell the kids. Olivia refused to spring anything upon them that way. She said it wasn't right. Then she left.

This morning the kids all had school so I'm all alone. For the first morning since Thursday I've woken up alone. You know what? I'm not a big fan of that right now. I miss her like hell. When did I become so attached to my partner? That's right, pretty much back on day one. I've just never admitted it. Until now. I wonder what she's doing today. Grabbing my phone I hit speed dial one and wait for the answer to my wondering.

"_Benson."_

"Hey Baby."

"_What's up? Everything okay?" _She asks, I know she's worried since I'm home alone today.

"No. I miss you. So fucking much." I tell her.

"_I miss you too, El."_

"So, are you working today?" God, I hope not.

"_No. I'm off as long as you are. I told Don I wouldn't come back without my partner."_

"Well, hopefully tomorrow I'll get the all clear. Speaking of partners though, we need to talk still."

"_Yes, we do." _She agrees.

"So, you're not working, I'm not working, no one's here for the next five hours. Come over Livvie?" I ask.

"_Didn't I do that enough last night?" _She chuckles.

"Never. Please?"

"_Fine, fine. Give me some time for a shower. I've been sitting here cleaning all morning, not pretty."_

"I doubt that. You're always gorgeous. But, yeah I'll see you in a bit. I love you."

"_I love you too."_

The call is ended and I sit here on the couch staring at the TV. I could get used to this. Telling Olivia that I love her all the time. Hell, I already am used to it. It hits me all of a sudden that I have yet to take a shower myself this morning. Why? I have no clue.

I run in the bedroom and grab some clean clothes out of my dresser, drop them on the bed, and head for the shower. 20 minutes later I'm standing at the sink, towel around my waist, brushing my teeth. When I'm finished with that I walk back to my bedroom to get dressed.

An hour after I call her, Olivia is walking in my door. Looks like she caught on about using her key. As soon as she's in the door I've got her pulled in my arms and I'm assaulting her with kisses. After a couple of minutes it seems, we break apart and walk over to the couch.

"What're we doing here Livvie?" I ask, starting the dreaded conversation.

"I don't know, you tell me." She smirks.

"I love you."

"I love you too. That was never the question here. What is this with us?"

"It's me not trying to ignore what I've felt for years. Me hoping that you'll give us a chance." I tell her.

"What bout work?"

There it is, the million dollar question. That's always what it will come down to between us. The repercussions on our partnership. I don't know about her, but I sure as hell don't want another partner. I've tried that before. No fun.

"We talk to Cragen. See where we stand with IAB's rules. Be honest and up front from the beginning. Otherwise it'll just bite us in the ass."

"Sounds like a plan." She says.

"Good. Let's go!" I get up and walk over to grab shoes.

"Go where?" She asks, confused.

"To talk to Don." I state, like it was obvious from the get go.

"Okay."

Shortly thereafter we're walking in the squad room. For a Monday morning it's pretty slow. As soon as I'm in the door everyone is coming over to see how I'm doing.

"Hey Elliot!" Lake calls out. "Can't stay away can you?"

I chuckle. "Nope. Don in?" I ask, pointing to the closed door.

"Yeah." He tells me.

Olivia and I both walk up to the door and I knock. After we tell him who it is, Don invites us in.

"What's up you two?" He asks.

"Sir, Olivia and I need to talk to you."

"I knew this day would come. Shut the door." He tells me, then points to the chairs in front of his desk for us to sit.

"You knew what day would come?" Olivia asks him.

"I assume you're here to tell me you two are wanting to start dating but need to know IAB's stance first. Am I right?"

"Yes sir." I say.

"Well, it's a well known fact The Morris Commission's already questioned how close you two are. Everyone has seen how effectively you continue to work together as it is. With the addition of Lake we've been mixing things up a bit more around here anyway. As long as we stick to that I foresee no problems." He tells us and I see Olivia breathe a sigh of relief.

"So, we're okay?" I ask.

"Yes. If either of your feelings for each other are going to cloud your judgment it'd happen. Dating or not. That's just how much you mean to each other."

"And your thoughts?" Olivia asks him.

I know that she really looks up to our captain. Not just as her superior or even as a friend. She looks up to him as the father she never had. She needs his approval as well.

"I'm very happy for both of you." He pulls her into a hug. "Although, I have to say, I did expect this conversation years ago when Kathy and Elliot split." We all laugh.

"Well thank you Don. We should probably get going. I have my follow up appointment with Dr. Murray tomorrow. I'm hoping to get the okay to return to work." I tell him as we all stand and walk to the door.

"Great. Keep me updated."

He opens his office door and we walk back out to the bullpen. After saying goodbye to everyone we head for the elevator. Suddenly I have an idea.

"What would you say to calling Casey and Alex and inviting them for an early lunch?" I ask, taking Olivia's hand.

"Sure. I'll call them."

She takes her cell phone out and calls over to the courthouse. We're in luck. It turns out they both can get away in about 90 minutes, at 1pm, for lunch. Olivia makes plans for us to meet then ends the call. Since we have a bit of time to kill we drive over to Central Park to just sit for a while.

When we get there Olivia lets me come help her out of the SUV. I take her hand in mine and walk over to a bench with her.

"So, we're going to give us a shot?" I ask as we sit down.

"I think so. Yeah." She says, sounds hesitant.

"Talk to me Livvie." I know something's being held back, and she knows that I know.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"What do you mean?" How could she even think that?

"I…I mean now that you can see again."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I interrupt.

"You can be with Kathy again now. You and I both know she'll want you back now." She sighs.

"Baby, listen close when I tell you this." I begin, speaking in a gentle calm tone. "I'm ready to move on from her. I'm finally ready to man up and admit what I've felt for years. Kathy? She moved on too. Whether she ever admits it or not, her actions by getting pregnant with another man's child show that."

"Oh."

"You, Olivia Benson, are the one I want to be with. The one I've wanted to be with for over 8 years now." I pull her into my arms and hold her tight.

We both sit there for quite some time in silence. Me holding her as she rests her head on my chest. Seemingly out of nowhere she speaks up, so soft I barely hear her.

"We're going to have to tell your kids." She says.

I tighten my grip around her and smile. That was all the confirmation I needed. I know we're in this together now. Whatever may come, we'll work past it together.

"You're right. We do. I'm going to leave it up to you about when we tell them, okay?"

"If it's okay with you I'd like to do it tonight. Mo and Katie already know about last night. Observant girls you have there El. I want them to know it wasn't just some one night stand thing. Call me silly, but I'd like to attempt to keep some of their respect for me intact."

"Baby, if anything they'd lose respect in me. Those kids all love you so much." I tell her before glancing at the clock on my cell phone.

"Time to go?" She asks.

"If we want to make it to Olive Garden by 1pm, then yeah, we should get going." I help her up from the bench and we walk over to her SUV.

"I can't wait until you can drive again." She grumbles as I help her in the truck.

"This is killing you isn't it?" I ask once I've gotten in next to her.

"You know it."

"So, what would you say to staying over tonight?"

"You don't think it's too soon? I mean as far as the kids are concerned."

"I think that I don't care. I miss waking up with you in my arms." I tell her.

"We'll see. If the kids accept us then okay."

Apparently she's forgotten that it was my eldest daughter who just the other day asked if I was finally going to admit I love Olivia. They are all more than okay with the idea.

20 minutes or so later we're pulling into the lot at Olive Garden. Parked right next to us are Casey and Alex who've just arrived also. The four of us get out of the two cars and Casey comes over to hug me while Alex grabs Olivia away to walk inside with her.

"So, Alex tells me you two kissed." Casey says to me as we're ending our hug.

Let's see, do I tell her or do I let Olivia tell her. Fuck it, I'll tell her. I know Olivia is over there telling Alex. Besides, Casey and I have become better friends now since I was in the hospital.

"We did. We…umm…we actually did a bit more than that." I blush. What the fuck? Elliot Stabler does not blush.

"El! Does this mean that the 'partners in crime fighting will they or won't they' prophecy has finally been fulfilled? You two are dating?"

She's actually giddy here. I have never seen Casey Novak this happy. Well, sober at least. Just then I hear a squeal of delight from behind us. Apparently Alex knows too. I can't help but laugh at the women's responses.

We walk in the restaurant and are shown to our seats. Olivia and I sit next to each other, then Alex next to Liv and Casey between Alex and I all around the round table. Everyone pulls out their menus and I reach in my coat pocket and pull out a pair of glasses, slip them on, and start reading.

"El, I never knew you wore glasses." Alex says, putting her own on.

"Just for reading sometimes. No big deal. They've been coming in handy the past couple of days though."

Once we've all decided what we want to eat and drink, our waitress, Laura, comes to take our order. She's a bit flirty with me, so being a playful man I start flirting back. I have to say I've never known Olivia Benson to be the possessive type. As soon as I start flirting with Laura she has her hand in my lap though under the table with a pretty threatening grip on my 'guys' if you know what I mean. Knowing our lives will both be a lot less fun if she follows through I back off on the flirting.

Once Laura's left to get our drinks, salad, and breadsticks I turn to Olivia and whisper to her.

"Baby, you know I meant nothing by it. I was just playing along to make her day. You are so much more than I deserve and the only one I want and need." I say, kissing her right behind her earlobe, sucking gently on her ear which I know drives her wild.

It worked too. Olivia's eased up her grip and is now resorted to stroking me through my jeans.

"Hey! Do I have to come over there and separate the two of you?" Casey asks sternly.

"No M'am." I smirk.

Soon enough our drinks, salad, and breadsticks have arrived. Being the gentleman that I am I dish out salad for all the girls, careful to keep the onions from Olivia. As I'm passing the plates back I can't help but laugh.

"What? What's so funny?" Alex asks, taking her plate.

"Just thinking how I feel like Hugh Hefner here, sitting at a table surrounded by my gorgeous women." They all start laughing too.

"So any word on when you'll be back to work? At least officially." Casey asks.

"We have an appointment tomorrow morning to follow up with Dr. Murray. I'm really hoping to be cleared then." I tell them.

We sit there and continue making casual conversation throughout the meal. Alex and Casey laughing about how Olivia and I share our meals still. I tell them that some things just never change. Before we know it, two hours have passed and Alex and Casey have to get back to work.

"Someone call and update us tomorrow, okay?" Casey asks.

"No problem." Both Olivia and I say.

I take out my wallet, throw some money down with the bill that's been there for a while now and get up to help the girls into their coats.

"Tell Fin to call me." I whisper in Alex's ear as I'm helping her put her coat on.

"How--?" She stutters out.

"I'm a detective, counselor, I know you didn't come back just to see how I was doing."

She laughs and we all leave the restaurant walking towards the two cars. Once Olivia and I are alone in the car I pull her into a deep, passionate kiss, rubbing my hand up and down her inner thigh.

"Not that I'm complaining. But what was that for?" She asks about the kiss.

"Just haven't done that yet today. " I shrug.

"I seem to recall you kissing me as soon as I walked in the door this morning."

"Okay, not like that. Besides, do I need a reason?" I ask her.

"Never. How upset would the twins be if you weren't there when they got home?" She asks me as she pulls out of the lot, her hand back to stroking my cock through my jeans.

"Whatever did you have in mind Miss Benson?" I tease.

"My place. You buried deep in me." She says seductively.

"Sounds like a plan."

As she's driving to her apartment I call mine to leave a message for the twins telling them I had a meeting at work and would be home for dinner. I hate lying to my kids. But 'I'm off to fuck your future step mom senseless' didn't seem appropriate. Whoa! Future step mom. Where'd that come from? That does sound good though. Sometime down the line though perhaps. I don't want to scare Olivia off just yet.

20 or so minutes later we're pulling in her spot in the parking garage. From there it's pretty much a mad dash to see who can get upstairs fastest. As embarrassing as it is she beats me. I can always use the excuse that I just had surgery though. By the time I get down the hall to her door she has it open and pulls me inside.

"Strip!" She demands.

Apparently there will be no foreplay this afternoon. I do as she says with one minor adjustment. I go to work stripping her. Once she's undressed I reach my hand down and find her dripping wet.

"A little anxious there Livvie?" I chuckle.

"Blue shirt. Makes me wet all the time." She manages to get out as she's ripping said shirt from my body.

No more than 30 seconds later I'm fully naked and she's pulling me onto the couch. I land on my back and she straddles me, sliding onto my length.

"Mmm…so good El. You feel so good in me." She says as she begins rocking her hips.

I start meeting her thrusts with my own and pull her down to me to kiss her. She's moaning my name and it's driving me wild. God, we are sex addicts here. I carefully flip her over underneath me, making sure we don't fall off the couch and continue driving deep in her.

"Elliot, Sweetheart, harder."

I obey her wishes and pump into her with reckless abandon. We keep this up for a while. I honestly think we're both starting to get annoyed that our orgasms just aren't coming yet. Neither of us is in the mood to drag this out right now. Our bodies seem to be though. Hoping to help things along I reach down between our bodies and rub her clit. This does the trick.

"ELLL!" She screaming my name as she cums.

Within seconds I'm following right behind her. Knowing we should get back to my place we quickly run in her bathroom and shower. Going to talk to my kids while still smelling of sex is not something I'd like us to do.

Satisfied with being clean we throw some clean clothes on. Where the extra outfit I have there came from I don't remember. As soon as we're dressed though we leave for my apartment. On the way there I take out my phone, call my older girls, and tell them to meet me there.

7 minutes later we're walking in my door. Lizzie comes out of her room and walks towards us.

"How was your meeting Daddy?" She winks at me.

Olivia and I look at each other wide eyed. Fuck! We just got caught by my 14 year old daughter. Well, hey one less person to be surprised when we talk to the kids once everyone gets here.


	12. Chapter 12

So, I still don't think I've recovered fully from Tuesday night. But I'm getting there. Do I have issues or what?

This story just keeps writing itself I tell you. Just when I think in my mind that the end is near, nope not happening. I do have a general idea of what I'd like to accomplish here before I end, I'm just not sure how much longer that'll be.

Vacation time, as some of you know, is drawing near. My last day with computer access is tomorrow. 5:30pm to be exact. I'm hoping to have 1 more chapter posted by then, HOWEVER, if I don't be fair warned that I will be out of town for 2 weeks so the next update will be no earlier than Dec 17.

With that said, please read & review!!!

This one's for **Tiptonxprincess, **my newest reviewer! Welcome!!!

**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing.

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**Olivia's POV**

Maureen, Kathleen, and Lizzie. They all know. Dickie, well I'm not sure about him. I wouldn't be surprised if he did. So, basically we're going to confirm their suspicions tonight. Their correct suspicions. Remind me again why. Oh yeah, because I won't sleep over until then. Lizzie's sitting over there on the couch giving me funny looks. Like she wants me to just say it already.

"El, your daughter's creeping me out." I lean over and whisper to him.

"The other two should be here soon." He says.

Sure enough, moments later Maureen and Kathleen are here too.

"What's up Dad?" Kathleen asks.

"Liv and I have something to tell you." He tells them before calling Dickie in.

Elliot and I stay on the loveseat while the kids all squeeze on the couch. I look across the room at the four of them and am met with four of the biggest smiles I've ever seen. Well, that's good. Right?

"We already know you guys." Dickie says to Elliot and I.

"Know what?" I ask, playing dumb.

"About you and Daddy. Your umm…extracurricular activities of course." Maureen tells us.

"Maur, I think you guys have the wrong idea."

"Dad, please, don't try and deny it." Kathleen says.

"Katie, your dad's not trying to deny it. We just think you have the wrong idea about what's going on." I chime in.

"Liv's right. This isn't some little rebound fling between here and I. I love Olivia." Elliot tells his kids, I'm hoping they'll understand.

"Liv?"

"Yeah Mo?"

"Do you love our dad?"

I turn so that I'm looking right in Elliot's eyes before I answer. No matter how much he can see or can't, it's the gesture that counts here. I want his kids to realize just how deep my feelings are. I want them to realize I'm serious about this. I need him to realize it too.

"I love your dad so much. More than I ever thought possible." I answer.

After my confession the girls all get up and come over to their dad and I. They pull us into a hug.

"It's about time you guys." Dickie says.

Well, I guess we don't have anything to worry about right now. The kids seem really excited that we're together. That I'm grateful for. I am waiting for something to be wrong though. They're happy, things are okay with work, and even though we haven't had his follow up appointment I can tell Elliot is going to be fine. That's way too many good things for the way my life works. There's always at least one bad. It's just a matter of waiting.

"So, what's the plan for dinner?" Elliot asks.

"Chinese!" The kids all yell.

"Liv, you're staying, right?" Kathleen asks me.

"I don't want to intrude, I'm just going to head home." I tell her. "Elliot, I'll be over in the morning for your appointment."

I start to get up off the loveseat so that I can leave. I just get stood up and Elliot pulls me back down next to him.

"Livvie, we had a deal, Baby." He whispers to me.

"I recall saying 'we will see' about it." I whisper back.

"Does this mean we're going to have to watch you two be all mushy all the time?" Dickie asks.

"You have a problem with that?" I smirk.

"Not at all. We're just glad you two finally woke up to what was in front of you all along."

"So?" Elliot asks me.

"Fine, I'll stay for dinner. How hungry are you guys anyway? I know it hasn't been long since your dad and I ate last."

"What are we going to do until then?" Lizzie asks.

"What did you have in mind?" I ask.

"Daddy, how well can you see?"

"Pretty good, why?"

"Good enough for a game of Monopoly?" Lizzie asks, giving me a devious look.

"I can wear my glasses if need be. Everyone else want to play?"

We all agree and Lizzie goes to her room to get the game. When she comes back we decide it would be best to play as three teams. The game can take forever as it is, we don't need to do six individuals.

"I'm partners with Dickie!" All three girls call out.

I can't help but laugh as I see the confusion on Elliot's face. How the fuck did he manage to not play Monopoly with that kid?

"Okay, what's the big deal with being teamed up with Dickie?" Elliot asks as the kids get the game ready and continue to argue over who will be Dickie's partner.

"He is like the God of Monopoly. You've seriously never played Monopoly with him?"

"Nope. As bad as that sounds, I haven't. I take it you have."

I nod. "When I was in Computer Crimes and was with the kids after work all the time. We played like four times a week."

For a split second I swear I see a flash of jealousy in his eyes. I know he wishes he could've spent more time with his kids. I guess I just never thought it bothered him so much that I had that luxury for a short time.

The kids are finally done setting up so we split up in teams. Maureen and Dickie, Elliot and Lizzie, and Kathleen and I. We start the game and five minutes in Elliot gets a chance to see what I mean. Somehow Dickie and Maureen have managed to be up $1500 and working their way towards owning both Boardwalk and Park Place. By the time the game's over, two hours later, Kathleen and I have been bankrupt for about 45 minutes.

"Now can we get dinner?" Dickie asks.

"Sure. Why don't you guys clean the game up while I go order the food." Elliot tells them.

"Hey El?" I call to him as he's leaving the room.

"Yeah Baby?" He stops, and turns towards me.

"Why don't you order it for carry out. I'll swing over and pick the food up. I have a sleep over to pack for tonight anyway." I tell him after I've walked over to him.

"Thank you Livvie. And I don't mean for picking up dinner. I love you." He says before kissing me.

"I love you too."

Elliot finishes on his way out to the kitchen to read the menu and order dinner for all of us. By the time he's done we have the game picked up. Lizzie, Dickie, and Maureen have gone to their rooms to work on homework while Kathleen is sitting on the couch watching TV.

"You probably should leave now Liv. They said it will take 20 minutes. That'll give you just enough time." He tells me.

"Alright. I'll see you guys in about 30 with food for all."

I get up off the couch, walk over and grab my coat. Just as I have my hand on the doorknob I hear my name.

"Liv? Can I go with you?" Kathleen asks.

"Did you finish all your homework?"

"Yeah. I had to stay at the library until Maureen was done in class so I got my reading all done."

"Okay. Grab your coat and throw on some shoes."

She does as I say and 30 seconds later she and I are on our way out the door. We take the elevator down to the lobby before walking out front to get in my SUV. We get almost to my apartment before Kathleen saying anything. But, she finally does.

"Liv?"

"Yeah Sweetie?"

"Umm…why do you think Mom led Dad on like she did? You know, about the baby and all." She ask, very nervously.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe she felt more comfortable raising another child with him. After all, look how great you four turned out." I tell her, trying to help.

Truthfully, I could just hurt Kathy for what she did. Not only to Elliot, but it's become obvious now that it has effected their kids quite a bit too. The worst part with it as far as the kids are concerned? I have a feeling she won't tell them why if they ever actually asked her. While you can argue that it's none of their business, it actually is something they deserve to know. At least the general basics about it. Kathleen seems satisfied though with my answer. I park in front of my building and we go in to pack a bag quickly.

I come out of the bathroom to find Kathleen rummaging through my lingerie drawer.

"Oh! Wear this one for Dad!" She tells me, holding up a red lace teddy.

"Kathleen Stabler!!" I scold.

"Seriously. You should, he'll love it. He is a guy after all. I'm sure you look hot in it."

"Okay. This is a little odd. I'm standing here discussing my lingerie with my boyfriend's daughter. Not just that, but what outfits he'll like. Not only is it weird that my partner is now my boyfriend, but that's just wrong discussing that." I shiver.

"Okay, okay, no more. Hurry up and throw some clothes in your bag. I'm hungry."

I grab some jeans, a shirt, panties, and a bra and throw them all in the bag at the end of my bed. Already in there is my toothbrush, toothpaste, lotion, and shower stuff. I think I've got just about everything. I pick up the bag and Kathleen and I leave to go get the Chinese food.

10 minutes later we're back at the Stabler apartment. I swear the minute I'm in the door the kids are tackling me for their supper. You'd think they hadn't eaten in years. I bring the food in the kitchen and Elliot and I get it all separated out on plates. Well, all of it except ours, which we keep in the cartons. He carries the plates out to the living room for the kids to start eating while I carry my food and his.

Throughout the meal things are relatively quiet. Some small talk between the kids mostly. Once everyone's done we decide to get in pj's and watch a movie before bed.

I head back to Elliot's room with my bag to put on my pajamas. Rummaging through the bag it occurs to me that I never packed any. Fuck! Sleeping naked or even in just my bra and panties with Elliot is one thing. I sure can't go watch a movie with his kids when I'm dressed like that. I head across the hall to try and fix this.

"Mo? Katie? Do either of you have something I can borrow to change into to watch the movie?" I ask after getting their okay to enter the room.

"I'll do you one better." Maureen says as she walks over to the closet.

She reaches in and pulls out my gym bag. I'd been wondering what I'd done with that. No clue how she got it though. Inside was my emergency set of clothes, and a camisole and pair of boxers from Victoria's Secret.

"Thank you so much!" I take the bag and leave.

A few minutes later, the six of us are all sitting or laying around the living room in front of the TV. The guys had taken it upon themselves to pick the movie. Ocean's Eleven. I think I missed the first 20 minutes or so though. All I could do was sit there, looking around the room, just thinking again how perfect this all is.

By the time the movie's ended all the kids are sleeping. I make a move to start waking them up when Elliot stops me.

"Leave them, we'll get them up in the morning. You just come to bed with me." He tells me, walking me to his bedroom.


	13. Chapter 13

-1Here it is, officially the last update before my 2 week vacation. I tried to leave you with a chapter worthy of taking that much time off, not too sure I succeeded though.

HUGE thanks to everyone who's been reading whether or not you review. I appreciate it!!! I promise you will all have an update on 12/17 when I get back.

**DISCLAIMER: **Perhaps, but nope, not mine.

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**Elliot's POV**

Finally, I'm getting a chance to wake up with Olivia in my arms. I've got to find a way to have this become a regular thing without scaring her away. Anything resembling commitment, I'm afraid she'll run from it.

God, she is gorgeous when she's sleeping. Not that she's not gorgeous when she's not, but right now? Holy shit! I haven't woken up next to someone hard like this is who knows how long. Honestly it was probably right before Olivia joined the squad. Hmm…choices here. I need to do something about this.

I lean over and lift her hair up off the back of her neck and start kissing her there. She stirs slightly, but doesn't wake. Well, that's not going to work. I reach down to the middle of her calf and start running my hand up her leg. Slowly I make my way up. Past her knee, up her thigh, to her hip. Still nothing. Alright. Time to bring out the big guns. I start working my hand up the front of her legs now, creeping towards her bare mound. Arriving at my destination I finally get moan out of her.

I put my hand up on her waist and pull her closer to me. My erection pressing into her. I want to show her just what she does to me.

"Mmm…Good morning Honey." She moans.

"I'll make it even better for you if you roll yourself on over here." I tell her seductively. "That is, unless you want to do this that way."

"No way. I want to see you when you cum." She says as she rolls over so she's facing me.

I pull her as close to me as I can get her and crash my lips down on hers. Without breaking our kiss I flip her over on her back. Hovering over her I silently ask permission to continue. She nods and I slide into her. I pause, allowing her body time to adjust before continuing. I slide myself all the way in her before pulling out almost all the way. Slowly, almost to the point of torturing her I thrust back in her. I keep this up for another 20 or so minutes. Annoyance clearly written on her face.

"Elliot!" She whines each syllable of my name. "Please?"

"Please what, Baby?" I ask her, ceasing all movement.

"You're driving me crazy here. Not in a good way either." She says, bucking her hips trying to resume our lovemaking.

"Livvie, you've been driving me crazy nearly everyday for over eight years now. About the only time you didn't was when you were in Oregon." I start pulling out of her again. "No, wait, you did then too even with not being here." I thrust back in her.

I give in to her finally though once she attempts to flip us over and take control herself. Now I'm pumping in and out of her at a little faster pace. Instead of staring deep in her eyes now, I'm again peppering her body with kisses. I glance at the clock on my nightstand and realize we've been at this close to an hour now. There's only about another 30 minutes until I have to wake the kids up.

"Baby, it's almost time to wake the kids up." I tell her.

"Guess you'd better hurry up and make us both cum then, huh?"

She's right. I'm not letter this end without both of us satisfied. Picking up the pace significantly I begin driving long, fast, and hard into her. After five minutes of this I'm on the doorstep of my orgasm. Olivia's right there too if I know her like I think I do.

"So close El. So fucking close."

"Same here Livvie. You first."

I concentrate on bringing her to release first. Focusing all my efforts on her pleasure. Once she's finally there I allow the glorious feeling of her walls clamping down on my cock drive me over the edge.

"We need to hit the shower, Benson." I wink at her.

"Separate showers, Stabler." She smirks.

"Please?" I beg.

"We only have what? 20 minutes left?"

"Yep."

"Behave? If you don't I'll get out and leave you alone in there." She threatens as she starts getting out of bed.

"Promise."

I can't help but stare at her as she walks towards the bathroom. Thank God for adjoining master bathrooms. Finally she notices I'm not following her.

"Get a move on it Stabler!" She calls to me.

We both get in the shower and try our damndest to pretty much ignore each other so that this stays a quick shower. Ten minutes later we're both done showering and walk back into my bedroom to get dressed.

"Do you always wear bras and panties that look like that?" I ask, trying not to drool.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you are sexy as sin in them."

Contrary to what we would like to be doing, we finish getting dressed and walk out to the living room to wake up the kids. We get out to the living room and find only one of my children there. Apparently, sometime during the night the girls had all woken up and gone to their own rooms. Not hearing anyone's alarm going off I know I need to wake them soon.

"You take the twins, I'll get Mo and Katie." Olivia tells me.

"Alright." I head down the hall to Lizzie's room first.

"Busy Lizzie." I call to her, entering the room.

It's a game we've played almost every morning now since she was old enough to talk. Even when she was living with Kathy I'd call her and do it.

"Daddy Dearest." She responds.

"It's time to get up for school." I tell her.

She stumbles out of bed walking out the door behind me. We get to the living room and find the other three kids sitting down on the couch. Olivia's in the kitchen making breakfast. I walk in and stand next to her at the stove.

"You know, you keep this cooking thing up and I just might never let you go." I tell her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind.

"Maybe that's my plan." She says.

I'm speechless when she tells me that. Maybe I don't know her as well as I thought. I'd always assumed commitment was her issue with relationships. I guess I was wrong.

I get plates down out of the cupboard and as breakfast is finished cooking and each kid finishes showering, I hand out plates of bacon and eggs. The kids take their plates over to the dining room table and start eating. Two minutes later Olivia and I join them.

"So, your big doctor's appointment is today, right Daddy?" Maureen asks.

"9am."

"And how is it going to go?" Kathleen asks.

"Good I think. I can see you guys almost perfectly. Pretty much the only time I still need to wear glasses is to read. But that's not anything new. I've needed them at times when reading for years." I let them know.

"So what's going on this afternoon?" Olivia asks.

"I have soccer practice." Dickie answers.

"Me too." Lizzie added.

"I have a study group meeting." Says Kathleen.

"Alright. Who needs rides and when?"

"Practice is over at 5:15, both boys and girls teams." Lizzie tells her.

"Katie?" Olivia asks.

"6:30."

"Perfect. Dickie and Lizzie, I'll pick you two up, we can swing over and get Katie then stop and pick something up to make for dinner." Olivia explains.

All I can do is sit there in awe. I forgot, until this week, that when Olivia was in Computer Crimes this was the 'norm' for her. She'd get off at 5pm, head over to Kathy's, so she could go to work, and hang with the kids until one of us got there from work. Picking the kids up and doing dinner was an everyday thing for her. I honestly don't know if I ever thanked her enough for it.

"Thanks Liv!" The three of them tell her.

"No problem. Remember, I'd do anything for the four of you."

Is it wrong to have a twinge of jealousy over this close relationship they all have? Don't get me wrong. I love that they're close, it'll help when our relationship gets more serious. On the other hand I realize now everything I missed out on in the past.

Everyone finishes eating their breakfast and grabs their school bags. I owe Maureen a lot for stepping up and taking Kathleen to campus with her everyday since she's still not allowed to drive. She took the twins to school yesterday too, today Olivia and I will though since I have my appointment. We all walk out to the two cars and head off in opposite directions.

15 minutes later Olivia's pulling up in front of the twins' school.

"Have a good day guys! Don't forget I'll pick you both up at 5:30. I love you two!" She tells them.

"Love you both!" I tell them.

The twins get out of Olivia's SUV and walk to their school building. Once Olivia and I are alone I have to ask her it.

"Livvie?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this how things were the whole time you were in Computer Crimes? With the kids I mean?"

"For the most part, yeah. Depending on the day, I'd pick them up from school or wherever, we'd make dinner, then if you hadn't come home yet we'd do homework and get ready for bed. I don't think I could ever thank you and Kathy enough for allowing me that time with them." She says.

"I'm the one that can't thank you enough." I tell her.

A few minutes later we're pulling up in front of the doctor's office building. I get out of the SUV and walk over to help Olivia out. We then start to walk in the building.

"You're spoiling me El." She says to me as I hold the door open for her.

"You deserve it."

We get the Dr. Murray's office, I check in, and we sit down to wait for my name to be called.

"So, I was thinking." I start off.

"Oh?"

"It was absolutely wonderful waking up with you in my arms this morning." I tell her as I take her hand.

"I agree."

"So--?"

"Elliot." The nurse interrupts us, calling me back to an exam room.

I get up to follow her back to the room only to find Olivia staying behind in the waiting room.

"Olivia? Aren't you coming with me?" I ask her.

"Do you want me to?"

I walk back over to her and help her out of the chair.

"Baby, even before this happened between us I wanted you with me. Remember the 100 voice mails?"

She relents and starts walking back to the exam room with me. We get back there and I hop in the exam chair while she sits in the chair next to me.

"So, how long do you think we'll wait in here?" She asks.

"Too long I'm sure. I can see. I just want to get back to work already."

There's a knock on the door and Dr. Murray walks in.

"Elliot, Olivia, how are we today?"

"Good, thanks." We both answer back.

"Well, let's see how things are looking."

He sits on his stool and wheels over to me. After examining me with various instruments and machines and having me read the eye chart on the wall he smiles.

"Are you still wearing your glasses any?"

"Sometimes when reading, but I've already done that." I tell him.

"I'm apt to say that may even improve. Everything looks great Elliot. I'll get all the appropriate paperwork out. You're cleared to return to work, as well as driving. I want to see you in three months. If you notice any problems though, please call me." He shakes both mine and Olivia's hands then leaves the room.

"El, this is great!" Olivia exclaims once Dr. Murray has left.

"You mean because I can finally drive, right?" I tease, laughing.

"You know it."

"Let's get out of here. I'll even drive this time."

We leave the office building and go to the SUV to head home. As soon as we get inside the apartment my buzzer goes off.

"Yes?" I say over the intercom.

"Elliot, it's Nick Stuart."

What is my lawyer doing here? Olivia and I exchange a look, her silently asking who it is. I mouth to her that it's my lawyer. I hit the button and buzz him up. When he gets up to my door he knocks and I let him in.

"Nick, what's up?" I ask, confused because I never see him other than at his office.

"It's Kathy."


	14. Chapter 14

I have returned!!!!! Vacation was excellent, 80's and sunny every day!! Woo-hoo!!!

This chapter's for my Aussie friends, while I was on vacation there was a group called Starstruck Productions staying at the same hotel as us and they were from Australia and it made me miss all of you even more.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own them.

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**Olivia's POV**

Elliot's lawyer just came over as we were getting back from the doctor's office. From Elliot's reaction this is a surprise visit.

"Nick what's up?" He asks the lawyer.

"It's Kathy." He answers.

Oh great. Now I admit I'm thankful for everything she's done in the past as far as letting me be the one to stay with the kids before. But lately, I honestly lost all respect for her. Ever since she misled Elliot about the baby I've had this dislike for her.

"What about her?" Elliot asks.

"She's filed a petition for sole custody of the twins." Nick tells him.

Oh God! She's trying to take his kids from him. I mean, essentially there's not much difference between sole custody and joint custody with primary residence which Elliot filed for. But it's the slight differences that matter here. I'm sure she's only doing this because of Elliot doing what he did.

"What…umm…what do you think her chances are of getting it?" I ask.

I know that legally it's none of my business. But those kids mean so much to me. Elliot means so much to me. I can't imagine losing them.

"My honest opinion? I don't think she'll get what she wants. As I told Elliot, it's tough to get anything other than joint custody anymore."

This is all such a foreign concept to me. I have no clue what most all of it means. I only know that Elliot want his kids to live here and they want to be here too.

"So, what do we do now?" Elliot asks.

"Nothing. We wait until our court date and go from there. Your best course of action is to not fight her. We've filed our requests so the judge knows what we're looking for. If you are civil with her, she'll most likely back down." Nick tells us.

"Is there anything Elliot should be doing to help his case?" I ask.

"Again that's something you want to be careful about. Most judges are going to see right through temporary changes."

"Alright."

"Well, I'd better run." Nick says.

"Bye!" We both tell him and Elliot shows him out the door.

Elliot comes back over and sits on the sofa next to me. I pull him into my arms and kiss his forehead.

"Talk to me." I request of him.

"I knew she wouldn't be thrilled that I wanted the kids to live here. I didn't realize she'd take it this far."

"This is most likely no consolation, but I'm here for you. Anything I can do, and I mean anything, let me know. Okay Honey?" I try to comfort him.

"Livvie, that does mean a lot to me. So much. I need to get out of here though. Let's go do something." He says, pulling me off the sofa.

"Like what?"

"Anything. I need to get my mind off this. For today at least. Tomorrow I'll have work."

"How about a movie?" I suggest.

"Sounds good."

The two of us leave Elliot's apartment and head down to my SUV. I'm pulling my keys out of my pocket when he grabs my arm.

"Do you really want to drive?"

"No, thanks."

He takes my keys from me and opens the passenger side for me, shutting the door as I get in. He then jogs over to the driver's side and gets in. The whole ride to the cinema I can't help but continue worrying about this custody mess.

I knew something bad was bound to happen here soon. Everything being happy and good is not my life. This wasn't what I thought would happen though. Not in my wildest nightmares. Like Elliot, I expected some resistance to Elliot's custody requests. But never this.

We get to the cinema, choose a movie, pay for our tickets and snacks, and head to Theater 3. The movie starts in like two minutes and we're the only ones here. I'm not surprised though. It is pretty early in the day. We settle in seats and wait for the previews to begin.

"I love you. You know that, right?" He leans over and whispers to me.

"I love you too."

We sit through the movie, Elliot's arm around me the whole time. I know his mind is elsewhere. At least part of the movie it is.

"Hey, smile. Everything will work out just fine. You heard your lawyer, the law is on your side." I say, trying to comfort him.

"I hope so." He sighs.

When the movie's over we head back towards his apartment. I'm so thankful Elliot's driving again.

"Are you sure we shouldn't be going to my place?" I ask. "I don't want to screw things up."

"I'm positive that I want you here with me. You will not screw things up." He tells me, kissing me as we stop at a red light.

We get to Elliot's apartment building and head up to his apartment. Stepping in the door I let out a big yawn.

"Baby, if you're tired go lay down on my bed." Elliot says as he turns and locks the door.

"Only if you promise to wake me up in time to go pick up the kids."

"Done."

I walk back to Elliot's bedroom, grab one of his navy blue NYPD t-shirts from his drawer and strip naked before slipping the shirt on. After I've changed I climb into his bed and crawl under the sheets and comforter. Not more than five minutes later the door opens and Elliot comes walking over. I hear him take off all his clothes before sliding into bed beside me.

"I'll set the alarm. I need to be with you." He says, pulling me into his arms.

"Mmm…I love you."

"I love you too, Baby."

Elliot reaches across me and sets his alarm for 4:30pm, giving us plenty of time to get ready to get the kids after our nap. Once he's done that he wraps his arms around me again and we drift off to sleep.

4:30pm comes along and the alarm is going off. I reach up and shut it off before Elliot gets a chance to. He rolls me over so I'm facing him and starts kissing me. Even this late in the day he still tastes like peppermint from brushing his teeth this morning.

"Do we have to get up?" He asks between kisses.

"I don't think the kids will like hearing they had to walk home because we couldn't get out of bed." I let him know as I get out of bed.

"Hot damn! Have you been naked under my t-shirt this whole time?"

I knew he'd catch that when I got up. Standing up his shirt had pushed up above my waist.

"Aww…feel like you missed out on something?" I tease.

"Oh I'm feeling something alright." He says as he pulls me back onto the bed and flush with his erection.

"Was Kathy crazy?" I ask, slowly running my hand down his abs.

"Why?" He chokes out.

"How in the hell could she give up this?" As I say this, I grasp his cock.

"All the better for you though, huh?"

"Oh yeah. Most definitely."

I roll over so I'm straddling Elliot and guide his tip to my entrance before sliding down taking him fully in me.

"Can you be quick? We only have 25 minutes tops." He tells me, bucking his hips up.

"Sure as hell can try."

We continue this age old dance for the next 20 minutes until we are both close to our orgasms. Within moments we both find our release, calling out each other's name.

"It takes 10 minutes to get to the school, shower, quick." Elliot says as we both hop out of bed.

Miraculously we make it to the twins' school at 5:35pm. Not bad. They come walking out five minutes later, never noticing we were late.

"Daddy, you're driving!" Lizzie exclaims as she opens her door.

"I told you guys everything would be just fine." He tells her.

Once the twins are both in the SUV Elliot pulls out from the curb and drives off towards Hudson University to pick Kathleen up from her study group. We arrive a little early and wait for her to walk out to the SUV.

"Daddy! Appointment went well I see."

"All clear!"

"Excellent. So, what's for dinner?" Kathleen asks as we start to drive off campus.

"What do you want?" I ask her.

'Hmm…tacos?" She suggests.

"Guys?" I turn to Lizzie and Dickie.

"Yeah!" They both respond.

Elliot drives us to the bodega down the street from his apartment so I can pick up the ingredients. You see, when I make Mexican food I want it as authentic as possible. I grab all the stuff I'll need and we head back to the apartment.

While I get started on dinner the kids all go to do their homework. Just as I'm mixing my special salsa, the last part for the meal to make, Elliot comes over and starts picking at the food.

"Livvie, this is absolutely delicious! Why did I not know you could cook?" He asks, causing me to chuckle.

"Sweetheart, who do you think made dinner when Kathy was working?"

"That was you? I just assumed she made something and left it for the kids."

"Nope. At least during the time I was with the them it was all me." I confess.

"The things I learn about you just make you that much more irresistible." He says, taking the food out to the dining room.

"Katie, Liz, Dickie, come out and eat." I call down the hall to their rooms.

The kids come to the table and everyone digs in to dinner. The meal continues on with idle chatter being made amongst everyone. Before long everyone has finished eating and I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes.

"You don't have to do that." Elliot tells me as she comes in the kitchen and starts drying the dishes.

"It's okay. There's only a few from where I cooked, otherwise they'd be in the dishwasher." I say, finishing up.

"Have I mentioned how perfect you look here in my kitchen? Hell, how at home you look everywhere in my life." He wraps his arms around my waist.

"Well, believe it or not, I'm actually starting to enjoy that feeling."

Elliot and I head for the living room and he tries to get me to sit on the sofa with him.

"Stay?" He begs, noticing I'm getting ready to leave.

"I should get going." I tell him as I grab my coat.

"Please? Please stay?"

"El. I really should go back to my apartment. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"All the more reason to stay. I'll give you a ride to work tomorrow."

I don't know what to do here. A large part of me wants me to stay. Another part though, is scared shitless at how fast things are moving. The part urging me to stay is reasoning with the fact that Elliot and I have been walking this invisible line for years. Fuck it! I give in to that side.

"Alright, but I need to get clothes tonight or else in the morning."

"Morning. Come to bed now."

He leads me back to the bedroom, undresses me as well as himself, and we crawl into bed together. I still can't believe how natural this all feels.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too, Livvie." He whispers back.

Within moments we're both asleep.

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Sorry for the shortness to this chapter. I started writing this before I went on vacation, then finished it up late late late last night (we're talking 4am today) and apparently my muse is only partly back from sunny FL.


	15. Chapter 15

So it's been quite a while here with this one. In amongst the fun we've had Christmas & New Year's. Hope those went well for everyone who celebrates! Big news from me, I got engaged over the weekend!!! Woo hoo!!!

I'm thinking this is the end, my muse is just not coming to me on this story right now as I'd like it to so I'm wrapping it up. I have nothing planned as far as sequels or epilogues go so don't expect anything just yet. I do have a follow up in the works to one of my Christmas stories that should be out tomorrow.

A BIG shout out to everyone who's read & reviewed this all along!!! Means a lot to me!!!

Flashbacks are in italics but then again so is the part of the phone call, so yeah, you'll realize what's what though.

**DISCLAIMER: **Santa wasn't good to me so I didn't get them for Christmas.

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**Elliot's POV**

I was only out of work for a couple of weeks so you'd think I would've got settled back in really quickly once I finally got back after surgery. But here it is, four months later, and finally things are starting to feel right again. I blame all the mess that's been going on in the last few months with the courts and Kathy though.

I tried my best to follow my lawyer's advice and remain civil about Kathy's requests. Things were going well for a while there actually. I kept in contact with her regarding things about the twins that I felt she needed to know, like what was going on at school, with sports, all that sort of thing. After three weeks of that things weren't going so well though. She stopped taking my calls, I'd never hear from her, and finally she just stopped having the kids over.

Finally one day, about a month ago, right before our court date Liv ran into her at the grocery store with Maureen and I. Now Maureen has always been my 'Daddy's Little Girl', so it doesn't surprise me that she went after Kathy the way she did. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

_We just walked into the grocery store to do the big shopping trip for the week. This was the first time Olivia was actually letting me come with her to go shopping, not that I minded not going before. The grocery store has never been a favorite destination of mine. _

_Maureen had been over at the house wanting to spend more time with Liv and I so she volunteered to come along too. I can't help but think how great this feels doing little things like this with, dare I say it, my girlfriend. As we're walking down the produce aisle I suddenly see her. Kathy. She's standing in front of a display of bananas looking for just the right ones. Just as I start to wonder if anyone else saw her I hear Maureen call out to her. _

"_Kathy, nice to see you're still alive." She says, highly irritated. _

"_Maur." Kathy turns and looks at us. "Elliot, Olivia."_

"_Do you have any clue that you have children? Or sometime in the last two months did that little fact slip your mind? " Maureen demands. _

"_Maur, I-I-I" Kathy begins stuttering out. _

"_Don't. I don't even want to hear it. And it's Maureen. You know what I don't get? Why you would even have the nerve to try and get sole custody of the twins when you can't even be bothered to remember they exist for the last two months!!" Maureen yells at Kathy in the middle of the produce section. _

"_Mo, sweetie, calm down." Olivia tries to soothe her, while giving me this look like 'How the hell did she know about that?'_

"_You're right, Mom, I should calm down. But seriously, how could she do that to Daddy? To Lizzie and Dickie?" Maureen asks, finally calming down. _

"_What did you just call her?!" Kathy yells back. _

"_Oh you heard me. Liv's much more of a Mom to us than you've been the last few years. Especially the last few months since Daddy got hurt. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to finish shopping with my parents." Maureen huffs as she takes the cart from Liv and heads for the apples. _

A week later we had our court date. I was sure Kathy would bring that little incident up and manage to use it against me, but surprisingly that was not at all what happened.

"_Mr. Stuart, your client is requesting joint legal and physical custody or the minor children Elizabeth and Richard Stabler with primary residency with him, correct?" Judge Mason asked, reading over the documents we had filed all those months ago. _

_Nick glances over to me to get confirmation that what the judge is saying is in fact what I am looking for. He knows it is, but this is just a formality to confirm it. _

"_Yes, sir. That's correct." Nick replies. _

"_And Ms. Carlson, your client had previously been requesting sole legal and physical custody of Elizabeth and Richard. Am I reading this correctly that now Ms. Stabler wishes to sign over all parental rights over Elizabeth and Richard?" Judge Mason asks, highly confused. _

_My mouth drops open. Olivia's sitting in the back of the courtroom with all four children and I'm sure if I were to turn around I'd see five mouths that look very similar to my own back there now. Where did this come from? Last Kathy had bothered to talk to any of us she had been planning on taking my children away from me, now she wants nothing to do with them. I look over at Nick, just as confused as the judge is I'm sure. _

"_Elliot, I have no idea." He replies. "I can honestly say that I was not notified of this until just now."_

"_While normally this is not something that I would consider, especially when it appears to be a rash decision like this does. However, after reading through the letter that Ms. Stabler has written detailing her request I do so order in favor of her request." Judge Mason concluded, banging his gavel. _

To say things were all of a sudden resolved with that ruling would be a major understatement. It's only taken us about a month to get settled in. First there were the issues with the twins. I knew they'd be upset to hear that their mother wanted nothing to do with them now. That I was expecting, what I wasn't expecting was for Lizzie to withdraw herself from anyone that wasn't Olivia. Thankfully I have the most wonderful girlfriend ever and she was very understanding about the requests to be needed at my apartment all hours of the day. Dickie started acting up in school around that point too, something I hadn't expected either.

I think that month really tested the relationship Liv and I had at that point. I know she was scared as hell from that first moment Maureen had called her Mom, then to have Lizzie need her so much, it was rough on her. Neither of us was spending time together really. Sure we were both at my apartment and we were both at work, but we weren't together. I know I was starting to get a bit frustrated with everything with Lizzie. Selfishly, I was missing my time with my girlfriend. I love my kids to death and would do anything for them, but I missed Liv. I missed having time for us. Everything she did was with Lizzie and everything I seemed to do involved trying to get Dickie straightened out.

One day, three and a half weeks after our court date, Maureen and Kathleen had come back from the mall. Both had offered to take Lizzie, who wouldn't go if Olivia didn't, and Dickie was stuck home after coming home with a C on his last Science test. That was the day that turned around things in our little family. The day we all bounced back from the last month.

"_Mom, come see the skirt I bought!" Maureen yelled out to my bedroom from the entrance way. _

"_Just one second Mo." Liv called back. _

_The second I hear Olivia answer my daughter I see Lizzie's head pop up. _

"_M-M-Mom?" She asks, tentatively, her voice shaking. _

"_Yes, Baby Girl?" Liv answers, I can tell it doesn't even phase her that another one of my daughters, our daughters, is calling her this now. _

"_Is it okay if I call you that too?" Lizzie blushes. _

"_Only if you feel comfortable with it. I want you and your brother and sisters to call me whatever you want." Olivia assures her, pulling her into a hug. _

From that day on it's been like a switch was turned on my youngest daughter. She no longer is withdrawn, she no longer will only interact with Olivia. She is the old Lizzie.

With all of that going on for the last few months that's why it's just finally feeling right back at work again. Today's also the first day that I've come in to work without my partner in a while. Even when things were crazy at home we still managed to leave for work together. If one of us was going to be late, so was the other. This morning though, I'm hoping to catch Don before everyone else gets in.

Walking in the squad room I do a quick glance around the room to make sure that no one has arrived yet. I know Liv hasn't because she was still in bed when I left. Seeing all the desks still bare I head over to the door at the back of the room and knock hesitantly on the glass.

"Come in." Don calls to me.

"Good morning." I say to him, not really sure how to start this conversation.

"Elliot, you're here awfully early." He looks up, with a sly grin.

Okay, now I'm a little concerned. Apparently not much is going to need to be said today because it looks like he knows exactly why I'm here.

"I was actually hoping to catch you before anyone else got here."

"I assume this has to do with your partner?"

"Yes. I…umm…I wanted to get your permission to ask Olivia to marry me." I manage to get out.

"Are you asking me as your captain?" Don asks quietly.

"Not entirely, no. Whether you realize it or not you have become the father Olivia never had over these last nine years and I know she looks to you for assurance in that respect. I'm asking your permission as her father." I tell him, suddenly the most nervous I've ever been around this man.

"As her father, you have my blessing. As your captain, I will tell you that once you two do get married some changes will need to be made around here. We can discuss that later on though. "

"Thank you Sir." I reach out and shake his hand.

"You'd better get going now though, I see your partner walking through the door and let me tell you she doesn't look too happy that you came in to work without her." Don chuckles as he walks past me to open the door.

"Elliot Richard Stabler!! You'd better have a good reason for why you came into work early this morning!!" Olivia comes over and yells at me in as hushed a voice as possible.

"All in good time Ms. Benson. All in good time." I tease.

I am going crazy sitting here all day. Part of me just wants to call everyone into the bull pen and just ask her right there. I know that would be highly unprofessional of me but damn it if I don't want to just ask her. Not to mention these people are all her family, I would love to ask her in front of her family.

Jotting off a quick instant message to Don I ask him if it'd be alright to ask her right now. Getting the okay from him I pick up the phone and call over to Casey and Alex's office.

"_Cabot?"_

"Hey Alex, can you and Casey head over for a few?" I ask, as I think of a good reason since I know she'll ask why.

"_Sure El, what's up?"_

I knew it.

"Don is having some big meeting." I hope that'll satisfy her.

"_Alright, see you in 10 minutes?" She asks. _

"Great!! Bye!"

"_Bye!"_

I hang the phone back up and glance up suddenly realizing that I made that phone call from my desk. My desk mind you that's directly across from my partner's. My partner who is also my girlfriend. My girlfriend whom I'm planning on asking to marry me in a matter of minutes here. Yeah, I didn't think about that one. Now she's going to be wondering what that was all about.

"What meeting, El?" She asks.

"The one Don's going to have?"

"Ohhhkay?"

Well, that seemed to satisfy her enough to where she's going back to her paperwork. Before I know it Alex and Casey are walking into the squad room though so it's all good. Now to just get everyone together in the room.

"So, what's this big meeting about Elliot?" Casey asks me.

"Umm…I don't know?" I tell her.

Just then Don comes out of his office, having seen both ADAs walk in and knowing what's coming next. He nods to me in affirmation of his blessing from earlier that morning and I get up and walk to the middle of the room. Don takes my seat as I begin to speak to everyone.

"Casey, Alex, first off I do have to apologize for lying about why you're both here. Don isn't the one who called this meeting, I am."

When I say this everyone looks around the room in confusion. I start walking over towards Olivia and take her hand, helping her up out of her chair and have her walk to the middle of the room with me. Once we get there I get down on one knee. That's all it takes. I see the tears start falling from Olivia's eyes and I hear the intake of the other two girls' breaths. Yep, it's clear just what I called everyone here for now.

"Olivia Serena Benson, you mean the world to me. Nine years ago when you walked into my life I knew it had changed for the better. With everything we've been through in the past nine years I've never once doubted that. The past five months have been hell on me. On us. But no matter what happened you were always there for me. You were always by my side. I love you so much. I have for so long now that I can't even begin to remember when I first admitted it to myself. You are the reason for me bouncing back from the last five months. From losing my sight, from the fear of never regaining it, and from almost losing my children. Now, I ask you to continue being my reason for living. Olivia, Baby, will you marry me?"

As I hold the ring out to her I can tell she's having a hard time saying yes. I truly hope it's not because she's hesitant but rather because she's all choked up from my proposal.

"Yes, El. Yes, I'll marry you." She finally gets out and my heart soars.

I pull her into my arms and kiss her hard on the lips while the rest of the squad room erupts in applause. Breaking the kiss she silently questions me as to the origin of such a unique ring.

"It was my grandmother's." I whisper in her ear.

"But--?" I know she wants to know why Kathy doesn't have it.

"My mother was saving it for me to give my soul mate." I tell her simply before pulling her back into another kiss.

Finally, after all we've been through in the last five months I feel like I've truly bounced back from some of the worst times in my life.


End file.
